Hey Everyone, so apparently I didn't post a single thing in December… wow. Well here is my one post I guess for this month. According to our agency, we should be on the active list by mid-January (their exact words) so, a couple weeks we could be actively waiting! Very exciting!
As far as totals from our fundraiser in October - sorry this has taken so long. I'm still waiting for some cash from one representative but she has given me an approximation of how much she will be giving. So with that approximation I will let you know that we raised $1758.53! That's awesome! We continue to get closer to our baby everyday!
I also wanted to let everyone know, that my church, The Compass is having a baptism/testimonial service this coming Sunday, January 5th at 5PM at the Chinese Alliance Church (on Arens Rd). I will be sharing my testimony specifically about our past year with our struggles of infertility. There is also a meal following the service. I encourage you guys to come on out!
Both Justin and I want to again say how incredibly blessed we are by each one of you! Your thoughts and prayers, kind words and financial support have shown us love like we have never experienced before. Although 2013 was a tough year for us, we have been blessed to have all of you supporting us through this time. Words can truly not express the amazing blessing all of you are to us, and we are truly so thankful for each and everyone of you! We wish you our blessings on 2014, and look forward to, hopefully, getting to meet our baby in the coming year.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Wait list status confirmed!
Hey Everyone! Just wanted to let you know that we got confirmation that we have indeed been put on the wait list! We should be put on the active list in 1-2 months! Very excited!!
Also, our thermometer is up over $18,500!! We are well over half way to our fundraising goal! So, THANK YOU!
Also, our thermometer is up over $18,500!! We are well over half way to our fundraising goal! So, THANK YOU!
Monday, November 18, 2013
Update of where we're at.
Hey everyone! Sorry for nearly a month of not posting! I started a new job on labour and birth (and love it!) and things have just been a little busy around here since starting there! I want to give you guys a bit of an update on everything - even though in my mind not too much has happened.
We held a fundraiser on October 26th! I think it went very well. I have been waiting for all the money to come in, but it's been a little slow. So as of right now - we're waiting for some cash from 3 more consultants - and so far we have made nearly $1400!!! Which is huge! I will be heading to the bank today and will update the thermometer after I return! Way to go guys! Thanks for being such a huge support to us!
As for our adoption process, the agency received our file on Canadian Thanksgiving day. They have processed it and said everything looks good. We are just waiting on an email that confirms our status on the wait list. I will explain a little bit of the wait list as this isn't the active list. It's essentially where we will sit for 1-3 months (remember there are only two couples ahead of us on the wait list!), then we will be pulled from there into the group of active profiles. This is when the birth moms will actually be able to look at our profile and pick us. So we're almost to the point of active waiting… we'll be there soon enough!
Emotionally, I have had some ups and downs in the past month or so. I have had days that I was incredibly overwhelmed by the long term permanence of our fertility issue. I don't know how I had never thought of it before but one day I was just thinking that after our adoption, when we want more kids, we will need to do this again or pursue IVF. Both of which cost money… it overwhelmed me for a bit. And thankfully God kindly reminded me that "each day has troubles of its own" and that I shouldn't "worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself". I'm running a marathon, not a sprint. So I will focus of where I'm at today, otherwise it's WAY too much for me to handle.
If you guys could to continue to pray for us as God continues to test our patience. It hasn't been a year since we started our adoption process yet, but it's now been over a year since we have found out about our fertility issues. In retrospect everything goes by fast, yet it was a hard, stretching year. Some days I really feel like I will never see the day that I will meet my child. Fortunately, I can recognize that as a lie - but it feels really real sometimes. Keep praying that God will give us the strength to get through each day. That we will be as prepared as we need to be when the baby comes, and that we will be patient until that time comes.
When I get the final numbers for our fundraiser, I will let you guys know! A huge thanks again to everyone who has supported us financially. Having that money in the bank so that we haven't had to pay out of our pocket yet for all our fees thus far, has been a HUGE blessing! THANK YOU!!
We held a fundraiser on October 26th! I think it went very well. I have been waiting for all the money to come in, but it's been a little slow. So as of right now - we're waiting for some cash from 3 more consultants - and so far we have made nearly $1400!!! Which is huge! I will be heading to the bank today and will update the thermometer after I return! Way to go guys! Thanks for being such a huge support to us!
As for our adoption process, the agency received our file on Canadian Thanksgiving day. They have processed it and said everything looks good. We are just waiting on an email that confirms our status on the wait list. I will explain a little bit of the wait list as this isn't the active list. It's essentially where we will sit for 1-3 months (remember there are only two couples ahead of us on the wait list!), then we will be pulled from there into the group of active profiles. This is when the birth moms will actually be able to look at our profile and pick us. So we're almost to the point of active waiting… we'll be there soon enough!
Emotionally, I have had some ups and downs in the past month or so. I have had days that I was incredibly overwhelmed by the long term permanence of our fertility issue. I don't know how I had never thought of it before but one day I was just thinking that after our adoption, when we want more kids, we will need to do this again or pursue IVF. Both of which cost money… it overwhelmed me for a bit. And thankfully God kindly reminded me that "each day has troubles of its own" and that I shouldn't "worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself". I'm running a marathon, not a sprint. So I will focus of where I'm at today, otherwise it's WAY too much for me to handle.
If you guys could to continue to pray for us as God continues to test our patience. It hasn't been a year since we started our adoption process yet, but it's now been over a year since we have found out about our fertility issues. In retrospect everything goes by fast, yet it was a hard, stretching year. Some days I really feel like I will never see the day that I will meet my child. Fortunately, I can recognize that as a lie - but it feels really real sometimes. Keep praying that God will give us the strength to get through each day. That we will be as prepared as we need to be when the baby comes, and that we will be patient until that time comes.
When I get the final numbers for our fundraiser, I will let you guys know! A huge thanks again to everyone who has supported us financially. Having that money in the bank so that we haven't had to pay out of our pocket yet for all our fees thus far, has been a HUGE blessing! THANK YOU!!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Discovery Toys Online Fundraiser!
Hello everyone! We have an amazing variety of vendors coming to our event on Saturday. Vendors that sell candles, kitchen items, make up, food, children's hats and hair clips, jewellery, and even TOYS!
Discovery Toys has set up an online fundraiser for those who can't make the event. Here is the link
http://www.discoverytoys.com/publicstore/event/1781/AMCA/default.aspx
Hope to see you Saturday!
Discovery Toys has set up an online fundraiser for those who can't make the event. Here is the link
http://www.discoverytoys.com/publicstore/event/1781/AMCA/default.aspx
Hope to see you Saturday!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Thankful to an AMAZING God!
In the past week or two, God has really opened my eyes to where I have been and where he has brought me to right now, and I want to share with you guys the incredible healing that has gone on in my heart.
Almost a year ago now we found out that we were infertile. All I did for months after this discovery was cry, and cry and then cry some more. I had been dreaming about becoming a mother since I had gotten married in 2007, and now it seemed like something that I had the right to, was stripped away from me. How unfair.
For those of you who haven't experienced infertility, you have been spared a lot of pain. But at the same time it's hard for people struggling with infertility to be around others who are not. It's hard be excited for someone when they tell you they are pregnant - all you really want to do is slap them. And although I would never say that I have been a jealous person, infertility really made me mad at all the people that can freely be intimate with their husband and make a life. Going to baby showers or like things are pretty much a no no for the infertile. This is because emotionally it's easier to stay at home rather than pretend that you are happy for someone with their new baby. I remember constantly thinking "I deserve a baby before that person does". It's amazing the thoughts that run through your head when you are hurting, but for many people this state is a reality, and it HURTS so much. I can't tell you in words how painful it is to be in this place. But just know, it is a dark, painful place, that I hope none of you have to experience.
When we started moving along with our adoption process, I had come to a place that was like "Ok God, if this is the plan you have for me, I will do it". I kind of half submitted myself to God's will but still felt myself holding on to some of my anger and jealousy. I would go to church and pretty much just cry - this was a reality I think for about 6 months. I knew that God's plan was better than mine, but his plan still really hurt.
My life changing experience happened when I went to Uganda to visit my parents. God used many of the Ugandan people to stretch me very uncomfortably while I was there. My heart wrestled with a lot of convictions of where my faith in God was and whether I truly believed that he knew better. Through many different situations and my time in the baby home there - my heart knew that I was truly called to adoption. Being in a home with 60 orphans (each one would have come home with me if they would have let me), with Ugandan people telling me to "have faith, and God will make you pregnant", reassured me that adoption is MY calling.
Nearly a year ago, I was under a curse of infertility. Today I am blessed to be on the roller coaster of adoption. I started my job on Labour and Delivery last week. I had a few people who have also struggled with infertility who cautioned me about working on L&D as it may be hurtful to work there. And I know that most infertile people can't do baby showers let alone work somewhere full of pregnant people bringing their babies into the world. Well let me tell you - I'm pretty sure I was made to work L&D. I love it. I feel that I am right where I should be.
When I was in Uganda, the Ugandan people challenged me with their faith. Telling me to expect a miracle from God. Yes, getting pregnant would be a miracle, but I think we got a better miracle instead. Full submission to God's will, has not only healed my broken, infertile heart, but has caused me to THRIVE in the midst of a tough situation. I am happy and excited for people who are pregnant, I can go to baby showers, I help people bring their babies into the world. Without God, I would be in a far deeper depression than I have ever been in before. The miracle is what God has done in my heart. My wounds are healed.
I am a stubborn girl, who has submitted to the will of God, and has been overwhelmingly blessed because of it. Sometimes the things that happen to us hurt and are hard. But maybe God does know what's best for us, and although I would have never chose this experience for myself, I'm glad that God chose it for me. And I'm glad that he didn't just throw me in the middle of a dark hole and leave me there; he has brought me through it and given me the strength to thrive.
I am thankful that God has given us the hidden blessing of infertility. So that I could learn full dependence on him.
"'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'". Jeremiah 29:11
Almost a year ago now we found out that we were infertile. All I did for months after this discovery was cry, and cry and then cry some more. I had been dreaming about becoming a mother since I had gotten married in 2007, and now it seemed like something that I had the right to, was stripped away from me. How unfair.
For those of you who haven't experienced infertility, you have been spared a lot of pain. But at the same time it's hard for people struggling with infertility to be around others who are not. It's hard be excited for someone when they tell you they are pregnant - all you really want to do is slap them. And although I would never say that I have been a jealous person, infertility really made me mad at all the people that can freely be intimate with their husband and make a life. Going to baby showers or like things are pretty much a no no for the infertile. This is because emotionally it's easier to stay at home rather than pretend that you are happy for someone with their new baby. I remember constantly thinking "I deserve a baby before that person does". It's amazing the thoughts that run through your head when you are hurting, but for many people this state is a reality, and it HURTS so much. I can't tell you in words how painful it is to be in this place. But just know, it is a dark, painful place, that I hope none of you have to experience.
When we started moving along with our adoption process, I had come to a place that was like "Ok God, if this is the plan you have for me, I will do it". I kind of half submitted myself to God's will but still felt myself holding on to some of my anger and jealousy. I would go to church and pretty much just cry - this was a reality I think for about 6 months. I knew that God's plan was better than mine, but his plan still really hurt.
My life changing experience happened when I went to Uganda to visit my parents. God used many of the Ugandan people to stretch me very uncomfortably while I was there. My heart wrestled with a lot of convictions of where my faith in God was and whether I truly believed that he knew better. Through many different situations and my time in the baby home there - my heart knew that I was truly called to adoption. Being in a home with 60 orphans (each one would have come home with me if they would have let me), with Ugandan people telling me to "have faith, and God will make you pregnant", reassured me that adoption is MY calling.
Nearly a year ago, I was under a curse of infertility. Today I am blessed to be on the roller coaster of adoption. I started my job on Labour and Delivery last week. I had a few people who have also struggled with infertility who cautioned me about working on L&D as it may be hurtful to work there. And I know that most infertile people can't do baby showers let alone work somewhere full of pregnant people bringing their babies into the world. Well let me tell you - I'm pretty sure I was made to work L&D. I love it. I feel that I am right where I should be.
When I was in Uganda, the Ugandan people challenged me with their faith. Telling me to expect a miracle from God. Yes, getting pregnant would be a miracle, but I think we got a better miracle instead. Full submission to God's will, has not only healed my broken, infertile heart, but has caused me to THRIVE in the midst of a tough situation. I am happy and excited for people who are pregnant, I can go to baby showers, I help people bring their babies into the world. Without God, I would be in a far deeper depression than I have ever been in before. The miracle is what God has done in my heart. My wounds are healed.
I am a stubborn girl, who has submitted to the will of God, and has been overwhelmingly blessed because of it. Sometimes the things that happen to us hurt and are hard. But maybe God does know what's best for us, and although I would have never chose this experience for myself, I'm glad that God chose it for me. And I'm glad that he didn't just throw me in the middle of a dark hole and leave me there; he has brought me through it and given me the strength to thrive.
I am thankful that God has given us the hidden blessing of infertility. So that I could learn full dependence on him.
"'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'". Jeremiah 29:11
Monday, October 7, 2013
Scentsy online fundraiser.
Another one! Our Scentsy gal has started up an online fundraiser also.
www.samanthafontaine.scentsy.ca
Once you have gotten to the website you can select a party and from there choose the Jaarsma fundraiser!!
Happy Shopping!
www.samanthafontaine.scentsy.ca
Once you have gotten to the website you can select a party and from there choose the Jaarsma fundraiser!!
Happy Shopping!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Moving forward LEAPS and BOUNDS!
Hey everyone, so for those of you who talked to me during this past week, you know that were a lot of things that we got to check off our giant list this week. Let me fill those of you in who haven't been able to talk to me this week.
Tuesday morning we had our consult over the phone with our agency. It was about a hour and a half and she pretty much just explained how everything works. It was very informative and exciting to hear someone talk about when a birth mother picks you.... and when the baby is born..... when you take your baby home... it really made me excited to talk about all that stuff!
So shortly after our consult, we met with our social worker and read our home study. We felt that she portrayed us accurately and just requested a couple changes - most of them were very minor changes and corrections - like my parents are 50, we have a bathroom on our upstairs level, not the main floor... etc. So it was good to get everything finalized. From there she just needed to update all our corrections and she would be sending off our papers to social services.
Immediately after our home study meeting we swung over to social services and dropped off all of our required documents for our dossier. A dossier is essentially a compilation of documents that the agency requires in order for us to apply. It included our home study, criminal record checks, child abuse record checks, our profiles, etc. From there social services will send them directly to the agency in Florida. According to the guy that we are in contact with at social services all of our documents were prepared and sent off to the agency on Friday.
Once the agency gets our dossier, it takes them about a month to go through all of our documents and applications. Once they accept us we will be put on the wait list - which currently has 2 couples on it - so we will be on the wait list for 1 - 3 months. After we come off the wait list we will pretty much just be waiting to hear that a birth mom has picked us! Most birth moms pick an adoptive family between 6-8 months into their pregnancy, so it could be pretty short notice for us. Once that birth mom gives birth and signs her consents to the adoption we are able to travel to Florida and get our baby! I really don't think it will be too long before our baby is here! VERY EXCITING!
On another note, our fundraiser for the 26th is coming together nicely. We have consultants from Scentsy, Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Arbonne, Mary Kay, Gold Canyon, Partylite, Younique, Discovery Toys, South Hill and more! We have some that are still waiting to hear if consultants can come : Epicure, Lia Sophia, Stella and Dot. If you know someone that sells stuff like this and their company isn't already confirmed for coming let me know! The requirement is that they will be willing to give us a % of their sales for our adoption. PLEASE invite your friends to come to this event and start some Christmas shopping. I'm already saving up to buy myself some new kitchen gadgets AKA knives that are actually sharp! We look forward to seeing you there!
Our Partylite consultant has also organized an online fundraiser for people who would like to order from partylite but can't make the event. The link is http://tinyurl.com/jaarsma Her name is Krista Day and you will see her name on the top right hand. Purchase from her and she will give us a percentage of her commissions!
Thanks everyone for your continued love and support. Our baby's birthday is getting closer!
Tuesday morning we had our consult over the phone with our agency. It was about a hour and a half and she pretty much just explained how everything works. It was very informative and exciting to hear someone talk about when a birth mother picks you.... and when the baby is born..... when you take your baby home... it really made me excited to talk about all that stuff!
So shortly after our consult, we met with our social worker and read our home study. We felt that she portrayed us accurately and just requested a couple changes - most of them were very minor changes and corrections - like my parents are 50, we have a bathroom on our upstairs level, not the main floor... etc. So it was good to get everything finalized. From there she just needed to update all our corrections and she would be sending off our papers to social services.
Immediately after our home study meeting we swung over to social services and dropped off all of our required documents for our dossier. A dossier is essentially a compilation of documents that the agency requires in order for us to apply. It included our home study, criminal record checks, child abuse record checks, our profiles, etc. From there social services will send them directly to the agency in Florida. According to the guy that we are in contact with at social services all of our documents were prepared and sent off to the agency on Friday.
Once the agency gets our dossier, it takes them about a month to go through all of our documents and applications. Once they accept us we will be put on the wait list - which currently has 2 couples on it - so we will be on the wait list for 1 - 3 months. After we come off the wait list we will pretty much just be waiting to hear that a birth mom has picked us! Most birth moms pick an adoptive family between 6-8 months into their pregnancy, so it could be pretty short notice for us. Once that birth mom gives birth and signs her consents to the adoption we are able to travel to Florida and get our baby! I really don't think it will be too long before our baby is here! VERY EXCITING!
On another note, our fundraiser for the 26th is coming together nicely. We have consultants from Scentsy, Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Arbonne, Mary Kay, Gold Canyon, Partylite, Younique, Discovery Toys, South Hill and more! We have some that are still waiting to hear if consultants can come : Epicure, Lia Sophia, Stella and Dot. If you know someone that sells stuff like this and their company isn't already confirmed for coming let me know! The requirement is that they will be willing to give us a % of their sales for our adoption. PLEASE invite your friends to come to this event and start some Christmas shopping. I'm already saving up to buy myself some new kitchen gadgets AKA knives that are actually sharp! We look forward to seeing you there!
Our Partylite consultant has also organized an online fundraiser for people who would like to order from partylite but can't make the event. The link is http://tinyurl.com/jaarsma Her name is Krista Day and you will see her name on the top right hand. Purchase from her and she will give us a percentage of her commissions!
Thanks everyone for your continued love and support. Our baby's birthday is getting closer!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Tupperware online fundraiser.
Hey everyone. For those of you who aren't able to come to the fundraiser on the 26th, even if you live far away. You can participate in our online fundraiser that our Tupperware gal has so kindly put on for us. It will run from now until Oct 27th. Click the link below. You will see my name when the page loads (Charissa Jaarsma's Fundraiser) then you can click shop this fundraiser. All the items will ship directly to you and 40% of the proceeds go to our adoption fund! Happy shopping!
www.tinyurl.com/adoptionfundraiser1
www.tinyurl.com/adoptionfundraiser1
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Mega "Home" Party Fundraiser.
Hello all! I am FINALLY going to announce our next fundraiser today. I've been busy trying to get all the details sorted out and I think I have enough together to inform you all!
As we have done fundraising for our adoption, we have been approached by many people who sell stuff in "home party" type businesses like tupperware, Mary Kay, etc etc. They were always saying hey we should do a fundraiser for your adoption. Which is a great idea, but at the same time I don't want to host 50 different parties. SO instead of doing 50 different parties we are going to do one MEGA party. We are gathering consultants from different businesses such as Scentsy, Tupperware, Mary Kay, Arbonne, Pampered Chef - and more, who will be at our mega home party on Oct 26th. Basically how it works is you guys all come and buy the products that we all love to get, only this time a portion of your purchases will go directly to our adoption. The percentage donated depends on each company and each consultant, as some consultants are willing to give us all of their commissions from that day as well. So pretty much, you can come and buy from multiple companies, and only have to go to one place! How exciting is that?!?! Details Below.
Mega Home Party Fundraiser
When: Oct 26, 2013
Where: Faith Baptist Church (in the gym, located in the basement) 437 Broadway Ave E. Regina, SK.
Time: 1 - 5 PM
Bring your friends, or anyone that you have ever met! We are going to try to do a bit of advertising with this one so lots of people - including people that I do not know - will come. Everyone - including myself - buys stuff at these parties. So bring anyone and let's get some more money into the bank for our adoption! It will be a good time to start your Christmas Shopping!
Thanks for all the support and love. Can't wait to see you guys at this event. I know it will be a success just like our last one was.
As we have done fundraising for our adoption, we have been approached by many people who sell stuff in "home party" type businesses like tupperware, Mary Kay, etc etc. They were always saying hey we should do a fundraiser for your adoption. Which is a great idea, but at the same time I don't want to host 50 different parties. SO instead of doing 50 different parties we are going to do one MEGA party. We are gathering consultants from different businesses such as Scentsy, Tupperware, Mary Kay, Arbonne, Pampered Chef - and more, who will be at our mega home party on Oct 26th. Basically how it works is you guys all come and buy the products that we all love to get, only this time a portion of your purchases will go directly to our adoption. The percentage donated depends on each company and each consultant, as some consultants are willing to give us all of their commissions from that day as well. So pretty much, you can come and buy from multiple companies, and only have to go to one place! How exciting is that?!?! Details Below.
Mega Home Party Fundraiser
When: Oct 26, 2013
Where: Faith Baptist Church (in the gym, located in the basement) 437 Broadway Ave E. Regina, SK.
Time: 1 - 5 PM
Bring your friends, or anyone that you have ever met! We are going to try to do a bit of advertising with this one so lots of people - including people that I do not know - will come. Everyone - including myself - buys stuff at these parties. So bring anyone and let's get some more money into the bank for our adoption! It will be a good time to start your Christmas Shopping!
Thanks for all the support and love. Can't wait to see you guys at this event. I know it will be a success just like our last one was.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Still moving forward!
Well everyone, we are still here. Still moving forward in our adoption process.
We have booked our official consult with our agency for Tuesday next week, a couple hours after that we will finish our home study, and I'm sure it will be moments after that that I will drop off all the required paperwork at Social services to be sent the agency ASAP. So, we're moving ahead quite quickly. Last week we printed off our profiles, or brochures that seemingly sell us as parents. That was a very exciting day for me!
Today I'm trying to get organized and organize our next fundraising, which I can hopefully tell you about soon, just a few more details need to be confirmed. But at this point in time the tentative date is Oct 26 in the afternoon. So keep your calendar open!
God continues to bless us and stretch us as we journey through this. I feel like I'm really starting to reach a point of complete impatience - or maybe that's just this week and it will wear off in a few days. In the meantime I'm trying to figure out lovely things like citizenship and immigration which seems to be not fun at all. And all at the same time I'm dreaming (and tearing up as I dream) about the day I get to meet my baby. I'm telling you all now that it will be the best day of my life!
Keep praying for us as we try to figure out all our fundraising efforts. It takes a couple minutes of thinking about it for me to start freaking out so..... pray, pray and pray some more please!
We love and thank you for all your support, sorry the blog is a little lame today.... brain is still trying to workout some fundraising details.
We have booked our official consult with our agency for Tuesday next week, a couple hours after that we will finish our home study, and I'm sure it will be moments after that that I will drop off all the required paperwork at Social services to be sent the agency ASAP. So, we're moving ahead quite quickly. Last week we printed off our profiles, or brochures that seemingly sell us as parents. That was a very exciting day for me!
Today I'm trying to get organized and organize our next fundraising, which I can hopefully tell you about soon, just a few more details need to be confirmed. But at this point in time the tentative date is Oct 26 in the afternoon. So keep your calendar open!
God continues to bless us and stretch us as we journey through this. I feel like I'm really starting to reach a point of complete impatience - or maybe that's just this week and it will wear off in a few days. In the meantime I'm trying to figure out lovely things like citizenship and immigration which seems to be not fun at all. And all at the same time I'm dreaming (and tearing up as I dream) about the day I get to meet my baby. I'm telling you all now that it will be the best day of my life!
Keep praying for us as we try to figure out all our fundraising efforts. It takes a couple minutes of thinking about it for me to start freaking out so..... pray, pray and pray some more please!
We love and thank you for all your support, sorry the blog is a little lame today.... brain is still trying to workout some fundraising details.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Wait list.... uh, what wait list?
Hey everyone, I just have some really exciting news that I wanted to share. My heart is full of so much joy and hope today, so I just had to share it with you guys.
So, our home study will be complete on Oct 1, but thankfully our adoption agency is allowing us to get some of the logistical stuff out of the way now. We will be sending in some fees (thank you adoption fund) and application papers so we can have our formal consult with the agency. Usually, they like for your home study to be complete, but they are letting us do ours a bit early. This way we can hopefully get everything else to them as soon as our home study is done.... so, like, Oct 2 (at least in my mind).
My biggest news though, is about the wait list. After we apply to our agency people are first put on a waiting list. I have been informed that typically you are on the wait list for 4-6 months before you are 'actively waiting'. Well I spoke with our agency this morning and apparently they only have 2 couples, THAT'S RIGHT, TWO, on the waiting list. So it's expected that we will be going onto an active list almost immediately after we apply. This makes my heart really happy. My baby could already be growing in someone's belly.
God is good to us. He puts up with me as I am so ridiculously impatient, and still blesses us.
So I'm very excited as I go to the bank to get a money order for our adoption agency. That adoption fund has been wonderful as we haven't had to pay any out of pocket expenses yet. Today we're taking out our biggest withdrawal yet.
So excited to be getting so close, and feeling incredibly hopeful for the months to come.
So, our home study will be complete on Oct 1, but thankfully our adoption agency is allowing us to get some of the logistical stuff out of the way now. We will be sending in some fees (thank you adoption fund) and application papers so we can have our formal consult with the agency. Usually, they like for your home study to be complete, but they are letting us do ours a bit early. This way we can hopefully get everything else to them as soon as our home study is done.... so, like, Oct 2 (at least in my mind).
My biggest news though, is about the wait list. After we apply to our agency people are first put on a waiting list. I have been informed that typically you are on the wait list for 4-6 months before you are 'actively waiting'. Well I spoke with our agency this morning and apparently they only have 2 couples, THAT'S RIGHT, TWO, on the waiting list. So it's expected that we will be going onto an active list almost immediately after we apply. This makes my heart really happy. My baby could already be growing in someone's belly.
God is good to us. He puts up with me as I am so ridiculously impatient, and still blesses us.
So I'm very excited as I go to the bank to get a money order for our adoption agency. That adoption fund has been wonderful as we haven't had to pay any out of pocket expenses yet. Today we're taking out our biggest withdrawal yet.
So excited to be getting so close, and feeling incredibly hopeful for the months to come.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Fantasy #95 : adopting a child.
So today I'm brainstorming for our next big fundraiser for our adoption and I'm googling all sorts of stuff, then of course I make my way onto Jack FM's website as they are having a big contest called 94 ways to get your Jack on. They are giving away 94 fantasy prizes. Some of them of pretty awesome and I would definitely be ok winning one of those, although I must say I was hoping that there was a prize for an all inclusive adoption.
I'm deeming prize #95 an all expense paid adoption. Or at least I was hoping it would've been on the list. But then again maybe that's not what people want these days.... to take care of the orphans. Maybe that would be more appealing if it didn't come with such a huge price tag! Well no matter how lame of a fantasy this is - it's my fantasy and I'm working towards it.
Don't get me wrong - fundraising has been incredibly humbling and necessary process. And although I wish I could win the lottery or meet some stranger like on those secret millionaire shows or like undercover boss who would love to give me money - that's just not reality. I'm the kind of person who is aware that things take work. I know that although we love to believe we are going to win the jackpot, that it doesn't happen regularly. So here I am back at the drawing board. Fundraising... fundraising, and more fundraising.
After only thinking about this for an hour, I've become frustrated and stressed. No wonder this cold sore is taking over my entire mouth. The truth is, I hate selling stuff. I hate bothering people. That's why I don't sell stuff for a living. Fundraising is an incredibly humbling, frustrating process. And it's a necessary evil that we need to do if we don't want to take out a second mortgage in order that we can have kids.
Fundraising is so interesting because to me, everyone's selling crap you don't want. Here buy this t-shirt or this bracelet, etc, etc. It'd be nice if I could sell something that people needed in order to live. Buy these groceries and help us get a baby - well that'd be easy. I need these groceries, and it will help crazy lady get a baby. Bonus! Unfortunately unless I sell the groceries that I just bought from Costco and starve my current family - myself, my husband, my Dalmatian and my wiener dog - I won't be able to sell groceries or other things that people buy in order to live. Sigh.
In the meantime, I'm hoping that Jack FM will soon be revealing their 95th fantasy as adopting a child! I can always hope right?
Anyways, it's back to my fundraising drawing board. Hopefully I can think of something that doesn't sell you crap you don't need. Just thought I would share some of my random thoughts (or rant) with you.
On a positive, less depressed note - what is FREAKING amazing to me is that we have raised nearly $17,000 for our adoption! People - that is nearly half way there! in about $700 we will be half way to our goal of $35,000 which has blown me away. So I want to continue to thank you for your generosity and support. Even though I complain about my fundraising frustrations and discouragement, I want you to know that I NEVER take for granted how far we have come and the generosity of all of you!
Stay tuned for up coming fundraisers!
Continually loved.
Throughout this entire process Justin and I have felt nothing but love from pretty much every person who has been following us through this experience. We are continually blessed and humbled by the love that everyone continues to give us, all the time.
As many of you know, I play roller derby. My league (Pile O'bones Derby Club) is freaking amazing by the way. I played in our last bout this past weekend and was completely blown away as our league donated the proceeds from the night's 50/50 draw to our adoption fund! Justin and I were both completely shocked and felt so incredibly loved. So again I want to thank my amazing, wonderful league for your generous contribution. You guys have all been so incredibly loving and supportive as we have walked this difficult road, so thanks and lots of derby love to you all!
I know I had mentioned it a thousand times before, but I am FINALLY posting a picture of our puzzle front and back. Is your name on there? Minimum donation of $5 buys you a puzzle piece! Let's get this puzzle full of names!
I just want to, again send a huge thanks to everyone who has supported us prayerfully and financially. Since we decided to be open about this process we have only felt love and encouragement from those around us. We thought it would be tough to be open about all this, but it has truly been so freeing and has allowed us to grow and heal in ways we never thought would be possible. I lately have been thinking about the day that I meet my baby - I really should stop doing this because it usually makes me cry. But I am getting so excited for the day that all of you get to meet our baby too. This hasn't been a road journeyed alone, but rather a journey that you have all joined us on. We thank you so much for all your support and know that our family is so blessed with every single one of you.
THANK YOU!!!
Friday, September 6, 2013
Home study... Almost... done.
Hey everyone. So I thought I would quickly update you on how our home study went yesterday. It went well - consider yourself updated. Just jokes. It was good, we talked about parenting styles, discipline, money and openness in the adoption. We also touched on what we would be willing to accept - which is a really hard thing to say. We need to decide if we would accept babies that their moms used alcohol, marijuana, and other drugs - our choices are no use, small amounts or large amounts.... it's so hard to make decisions like this. So please pray for us as we make our decisions on what we will or will not accept in our child.
We have one more visit, it's on October 1. I have to admit I had a little bit of a meltdown after our home study. When we started this process it was like, "oh ya the home study takes like a month or just over a month to complete in Saskatchewan". Well ours will take three months. We started our home study July 2 and will finish it Oct 1. I thought I was doing good at being patient but I guess yesterday kinda threw me off. I know the woman conducting our home study is busy, but to wait a whole month before our next visit - our next visit is simply reading the report that she is going to write up - that's just really frustrating for me. I was really hoping to get in with our agency by August, and now it's looking more like November. I know I just need to calm down a bit, but I'm ready to be at the point where I am actually just waiting. And the actively waiting part is about 9 months from now....and we've been doing this for 9 months already.... ugh. I'm a little discouraged with our timeline, but I know that God has already chosen the child that will be coming into our home, and that gives me enough hope to get through today.
On another, less frustrating note. I wanted to share with you all that I recently just got a permanent part time job on the labour and birth unit! I'm so excited. I am really looking forward to getting my baby fix! I honestly feel like that is where I was meant to work. I don't start until Oct 14 (hey our home study will be done by then, look at that) but none the less, I'm excited. So if you are having a baby later this year, you may very well see me there!
Thanks for keeping up with the blog and sharing in our experiences, joys, frustrations and one day - our excitement as we get our baby. It really keeps us going that you guys care and share encouraging things with us through this process. Love all of you so much and thank you for your prayers.
We have one more visit, it's on October 1. I have to admit I had a little bit of a meltdown after our home study. When we started this process it was like, "oh ya the home study takes like a month or just over a month to complete in Saskatchewan". Well ours will take three months. We started our home study July 2 and will finish it Oct 1. I thought I was doing good at being patient but I guess yesterday kinda threw me off. I know the woman conducting our home study is busy, but to wait a whole month before our next visit - our next visit is simply reading the report that she is going to write up - that's just really frustrating for me. I was really hoping to get in with our agency by August, and now it's looking more like November. I know I just need to calm down a bit, but I'm ready to be at the point where I am actually just waiting. And the actively waiting part is about 9 months from now....and we've been doing this for 9 months already.... ugh. I'm a little discouraged with our timeline, but I know that God has already chosen the child that will be coming into our home, and that gives me enough hope to get through today.
On another, less frustrating note. I wanted to share with you all that I recently just got a permanent part time job on the labour and birth unit! I'm so excited. I am really looking forward to getting my baby fix! I honestly feel like that is where I was meant to work. I don't start until Oct 14 (hey our home study will be done by then, look at that) but none the less, I'm excited. So if you are having a baby later this year, you may very well see me there!
Thanks for keeping up with the blog and sharing in our experiences, joys, frustrations and one day - our excitement as we get our baby. It really keeps us going that you guys care and share encouraging things with us through this process. Love all of you so much and thank you for your prayers.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
A new perspective.
Well, today is the day that our social worker who is conducting our home study actually comes to our home and does more investigations into who we are. The control freak in me (thanks mom for this wonderful characteristic) wishes that the basement full of the boxes we haven't unpacked yet and other crap was organized, but I know she won't be judging us on how organized our home is. This happens in about three hours, so keep us in your prayers. I'm confident it will go just fine.
I have lots of people asking, usually people I see occasionally in passing like at work, where we are in our adoption and when our baby is coming. Sometimes I feel like a jerk when I laugh, which I usually do, but we are nine months into a process that is going to take about two years. So at least we're almost half way there? The funny thing is we are pursuing a program which has a real short wait time - so two years is considered short in adoption world. Our society really doesn't know about how long it takes, all the hoops you have to jump through in the adoption process, unless of course you are doing it. So I try to educate people. I keep saying I think 2014 will be our year! And I have faith that it will.
One thing that I have really been blessed with in this entire scenario is the many people that are in our lives that have struggled with infertility and who have, in the past, or are currently in the process of adopting. It's really cool for me to have people share their thoughts, experiences and feelings about everything. And sometimes it gives you a new perspective that you had never had before. I have recently had one of these experiences that I would like to share with you.
A few weeks ago we went to Alberta to go to Justin's brother's wedding. There we were blessed to see many family members we haven't seen in quite a while. Other members of Justin's extended family are also in the process of adopting which is a real encouragement to us. It was really neat to talk with them and hear their experiences and their insights. I was talking with Justin's cousin who lives in Ontario, April (their adoption blog is www.tuiningafamily.blogspot.ca check it out) about fundraising. I have mentioned before how humbling it is to pursue the fundraising route. How heavy it can be to know that people are giving you thousands of dollars - it is incredibly humbling. April shared with me an amazing insight on this topic that I have now taken as my motto in fundraising. In James 1:27 it tells us that we are called to look after the orphans and the widows, the ones that our society has outcast. Not all of us are called to specific things like adoption, but we are all called to do our part. I am giving you an opportunity to fulfill your calling from God - to take care of an orphan. Although it won't be directly you taking care of an orphan, your money will make it possible for us to take care of an orphan! For those who don't believe in Christianity that follow our blog - I would just say that I am giving you an opportunity to take care of an orphan, to make our world a better place. It's a different standpoint to have, but to look at us asking for your money as an opportunity is truly profound, to me anyways. Thanks April for this insight! Thanks to everyone who has already donated to our adoption! We look forward to our future fundraisers, and will let you know once we have everything organized.
James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
I have lots of people asking, usually people I see occasionally in passing like at work, where we are in our adoption and when our baby is coming. Sometimes I feel like a jerk when I laugh, which I usually do, but we are nine months into a process that is going to take about two years. So at least we're almost half way there? The funny thing is we are pursuing a program which has a real short wait time - so two years is considered short in adoption world. Our society really doesn't know about how long it takes, all the hoops you have to jump through in the adoption process, unless of course you are doing it. So I try to educate people. I keep saying I think 2014 will be our year! And I have faith that it will.
One thing that I have really been blessed with in this entire scenario is the many people that are in our lives that have struggled with infertility and who have, in the past, or are currently in the process of adopting. It's really cool for me to have people share their thoughts, experiences and feelings about everything. And sometimes it gives you a new perspective that you had never had before. I have recently had one of these experiences that I would like to share with you.
A few weeks ago we went to Alberta to go to Justin's brother's wedding. There we were blessed to see many family members we haven't seen in quite a while. Other members of Justin's extended family are also in the process of adopting which is a real encouragement to us. It was really neat to talk with them and hear their experiences and their insights. I was talking with Justin's cousin who lives in Ontario, April (their adoption blog is www.tuiningafamily.blogspot.ca check it out) about fundraising. I have mentioned before how humbling it is to pursue the fundraising route. How heavy it can be to know that people are giving you thousands of dollars - it is incredibly humbling. April shared with me an amazing insight on this topic that I have now taken as my motto in fundraising. In James 1:27 it tells us that we are called to look after the orphans and the widows, the ones that our society has outcast. Not all of us are called to specific things like adoption, but we are all called to do our part. I am giving you an opportunity to fulfill your calling from God - to take care of an orphan. Although it won't be directly you taking care of an orphan, your money will make it possible for us to take care of an orphan! For those who don't believe in Christianity that follow our blog - I would just say that I am giving you an opportunity to take care of an orphan, to make our world a better place. It's a different standpoint to have, but to look at us asking for your money as an opportunity is truly profound, to me anyways. Thanks April for this insight! Thanks to everyone who has already donated to our adoption! We look forward to our future fundraisers, and will let you know once we have everything organized.
James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Update and some pictures of Africa!
Hey guys! so it's been way too long since I have blogged but I thought I should kind of update everyone on our lives! We have had a busy summer which unfortunately got me behind in our blogging - let's face it I've been falling behind for a while. We have been very blessed to visit with family that we haven't seen in a while and share what God has been doing in our lives.
Currently we are waiting to finish off our home study. We started the process in July and we hope to be done by the end of September at the latest. Our next visit is on September 5th and this visit is actually at our house. After that we will meet to look over the report our social worker will write up and then we will be getting ready to apply to our agency in Florida! It's so funny because stuff always seems to take longer than I would like, and at this point I am just starting to know and expect that everything will take much longer. For how impatient of a person I am, I am definitely getting a lesson of patience through this time. So in our adoption process itself - we haven't really moved much. But hey we are getting there.
I really want to express my gratitude to God and to all of our friends and family. I know that so many people who are experiencing infertility can feel stuck. Stuck in feelings and pain and anger. They can be experiencing this for years and still have all of those feelings feel so fresh and new. I am so grateful that we have been able to move forward and not get stuck. I have my days that are hard, but I feel so blessed that I can openly talk to people about our struggles in this area. It really helps me get through it and accept it. So thank you to all of you who have loved us, followed our blog, supported us financially or through prayer. We feel so incredibly honoured. We are moving forward at a slow, but somewhat steady pace I guess, and we are hoping that 2014 will be our year.
I also just wanted to point out that we have raised over $16,000 for our adoption already! We only have another $19,000 to raise before hitting our goal of $35,000! Hopefully (if I get on it soon), we will have some bigger fundraisers happening soon. Remember our puzzle piece fundraiser that we have going continually. minimum $5 donation gets your name on the back of a puzzle piece. When our baby comes home they will grow up seeing all the people who helped us get them into our home!
Just for fun, I thought I would finally post a few pictures that I had taken in Africa while I was there in June. I only just started going through all my pictures. Hope you enjoy these!
Thanks for sticking with our blog even though we have had a bit of a hiatus! I will be trying to blog more often now that summer is coming to a close and we have gotten more settled into our new home! Love you all and thanks for all your love and prayers!
Currently we are waiting to finish off our home study. We started the process in July and we hope to be done by the end of September at the latest. Our next visit is on September 5th and this visit is actually at our house. After that we will meet to look over the report our social worker will write up and then we will be getting ready to apply to our agency in Florida! It's so funny because stuff always seems to take longer than I would like, and at this point I am just starting to know and expect that everything will take much longer. For how impatient of a person I am, I am definitely getting a lesson of patience through this time. So in our adoption process itself - we haven't really moved much. But hey we are getting there.
I really want to express my gratitude to God and to all of our friends and family. I know that so many people who are experiencing infertility can feel stuck. Stuck in feelings and pain and anger. They can be experiencing this for years and still have all of those feelings feel so fresh and new. I am so grateful that we have been able to move forward and not get stuck. I have my days that are hard, but I feel so blessed that I can openly talk to people about our struggles in this area. It really helps me get through it and accept it. So thank you to all of you who have loved us, followed our blog, supported us financially or through prayer. We feel so incredibly honoured. We are moving forward at a slow, but somewhat steady pace I guess, and we are hoping that 2014 will be our year.
I also just wanted to point out that we have raised over $16,000 for our adoption already! We only have another $19,000 to raise before hitting our goal of $35,000! Hopefully (if I get on it soon), we will have some bigger fundraisers happening soon. Remember our puzzle piece fundraiser that we have going continually. minimum $5 donation gets your name on the back of a puzzle piece. When our baby comes home they will grow up seeing all the people who helped us get them into our home!
Just for fun, I thought I would finally post a few pictures that I had taken in Africa while I was there in June. I only just started going through all my pictures. Hope you enjoy these!
Thanks for sticking with our blog even though we have had a bit of a hiatus! I will be trying to blog more often now that summer is coming to a close and we have gotten more settled into our new home! Love you all and thanks for all your love and prayers!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Thou shalt not Covet
Hey there everyone! Sorry for the lack of blogging, it has been such a whirlwind since I have gotten home from Africa, but it has been really good. I came back from Africa incredibly refreshed and feeling more like myself than I have in a long time. So nice to be me again!
One thing that was such an amazing lesson for me while I was in Africa is how they but God first because they have so little. They are poor, have no other choice but to put their faith first. We tend to trust in our science and our possessions above God in North America. And after being home for nearly three weeks, I feel like I'm falling back into this 'false faith'. I know that no matter how much I work, or buy stuff or whatever, any faith that is put in myself or my stuff over my faith in God and his provision - is not real faith. I have been there, I have been that person that does more, does the best and burns out and ends up depressed at the end of it. I have pushed my physical body so hard that my mind just gave up. It has gotten me nowhere and I know that that path will continue to get me nowhere. I can't be my own Saviour - that's Jesus's job that he has long past accomplished, I just need to embrace it.
Where I am at now is this. I have come home from Africa where there are orphans everywhere, where people have nothing. I have returned to North America where we all have so much money and spend it on ridiculous things (myself included). I listen to my husband talk about these 7 thousand square foot homes that he is working in... and I think if some rich person would just give me another $15,000 I could have a baby. I find that my heart is really going towards coveting people's money. And honestly, my motivation for coveting is my desire to be a mom - but it's still wrong. I still need to trust in God's provision. HE is my provider and HIM alone!
Justin and I spent my birthday doing a ridiculous amount of running around, jumping through all the lovely hoops that you have to for your home study. We feel a little bit like circus monkeys. At one point after we had almost finished all of our running around, Justin looked at me and said "this is so stupid. Anyone else can just have babies". We are frustrated that A. there are so many orphans out there, that we can't just pick one up and give that child a good home B. there are people out there that are horrible enough that we need to go through this extensive process to even adopt a child and mostly C. Majority of the world can just have babies willy nilly, whether they are able to care for them or not.
It's hard to be back in the process. But as frustrating as it is. We know that we are where we are supposed to be. We are getting so excited for the baby that will be ours one day. We know that God will never call us to a situation that we can't get through - even financially. Most of all we know that God has plans bigger than we will ever understand, and that his will is the one that matters.
Pray for us as we continue through our home study and as we continue to save and fundraise for the cost of our adoption. Also, have you bought a puzzle piece yet? I have our puzzle put together with many people's names on it.... is yours on there? Five bucks is really not too much to spare... think about it. Hopefully in the next few days I will post a picture of the names on the back of the puzzle at this point. We have two 300 piece puzzles to fill. So if you feel called to give to us, we along with our future baby are extremely thankful for your generosity.
As a last note I want to share something that really speaks volumes of where God has brought me through this process. I have always wanted to be a mom. I have always wanted to experience a pregnancy, give birth, all that stuff. Right now, I am so content with where we are, that I can honestly say were I to get pregnant I feel that I would be disappointed. I am so looking forward to the adoption, that I honestly do not have a desire to be pregnant right now. For those who know me, this is such a testament to what God has done in my heart and the calling he has placed in my life. He has done great things, and it is going to be an overwhelming blessing the day I get to meet the child he has picked out for me. This is really cool and my heart feels so blessed to be called to adoption - even though it's ridiculously hard. I know the day I meet my child, all this hard stuff will be almost forgotten. So worth it.
One thing that was such an amazing lesson for me while I was in Africa is how they but God first because they have so little. They are poor, have no other choice but to put their faith first. We tend to trust in our science and our possessions above God in North America. And after being home for nearly three weeks, I feel like I'm falling back into this 'false faith'. I know that no matter how much I work, or buy stuff or whatever, any faith that is put in myself or my stuff over my faith in God and his provision - is not real faith. I have been there, I have been that person that does more, does the best and burns out and ends up depressed at the end of it. I have pushed my physical body so hard that my mind just gave up. It has gotten me nowhere and I know that that path will continue to get me nowhere. I can't be my own Saviour - that's Jesus's job that he has long past accomplished, I just need to embrace it.
Where I am at now is this. I have come home from Africa where there are orphans everywhere, where people have nothing. I have returned to North America where we all have so much money and spend it on ridiculous things (myself included). I listen to my husband talk about these 7 thousand square foot homes that he is working in... and I think if some rich person would just give me another $15,000 I could have a baby. I find that my heart is really going towards coveting people's money. And honestly, my motivation for coveting is my desire to be a mom - but it's still wrong. I still need to trust in God's provision. HE is my provider and HIM alone!
Justin and I spent my birthday doing a ridiculous amount of running around, jumping through all the lovely hoops that you have to for your home study. We feel a little bit like circus monkeys. At one point after we had almost finished all of our running around, Justin looked at me and said "this is so stupid. Anyone else can just have babies". We are frustrated that A. there are so many orphans out there, that we can't just pick one up and give that child a good home B. there are people out there that are horrible enough that we need to go through this extensive process to even adopt a child and mostly C. Majority of the world can just have babies willy nilly, whether they are able to care for them or not.
It's hard to be back in the process. But as frustrating as it is. We know that we are where we are supposed to be. We are getting so excited for the baby that will be ours one day. We know that God will never call us to a situation that we can't get through - even financially. Most of all we know that God has plans bigger than we will ever understand, and that his will is the one that matters.
Pray for us as we continue through our home study and as we continue to save and fundraise for the cost of our adoption. Also, have you bought a puzzle piece yet? I have our puzzle put together with many people's names on it.... is yours on there? Five bucks is really not too much to spare... think about it. Hopefully in the next few days I will post a picture of the names on the back of the puzzle at this point. We have two 300 piece puzzles to fill. So if you feel called to give to us, we along with our future baby are extremely thankful for your generosity.
As a last note I want to share something that really speaks volumes of where God has brought me through this process. I have always wanted to be a mom. I have always wanted to experience a pregnancy, give birth, all that stuff. Right now, I am so content with where we are, that I can honestly say were I to get pregnant I feel that I would be disappointed. I am so looking forward to the adoption, that I honestly do not have a desire to be pregnant right now. For those who know me, this is such a testament to what God has done in my heart and the calling he has placed in my life. He has done great things, and it is going to be an overwhelming blessing the day I get to meet the child he has picked out for me. This is really cool and my heart feels so blessed to be called to adoption - even though it's ridiculously hard. I know the day I meet my child, all this hard stuff will be almost forgotten. So worth it.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Back home, back to the adoption process.
Hello ALL!
So I failed miserably at blogging while I was in Africa, but honestly I didn't have too much time to. Our time was jammed packed with spending time with my family, working at the babies home and seeing Uganda. It was an amazing three weeks and I have been stretched and challenged greatly, but it's so nice to be home.
I just wanted to update you guys briefly about our adoption process. We currently have just shy of $15,000 in the bank! Which is amazing! The generosity that everyone has shown us has been such a blessing! We are getting so much closer to our goal of $35,000! Please remember that we have an ongoing fundraiser for people to buy a puzzle piece. For a minimum $5 donation to our adoption fund you can get your name on the back of a puzzle piece that will show our child the people who helped us build our family. Can you spare $5? We sure hope you would!
We are planning on doing some other fundraisers, but at this point in time our home study is at the forefront of our priorities. We start our home study TODAY!!! This is very good and exciting, but from here on out, each step that we make involves money. We will be taking our first withdrawal out of our baby fund today to pay for our home study. It costs $1800. After our home study is complete in about a month or so, we will then apply to our agency and again that costs money, so we please just encourage you to spare some change, encourage your friends to spare some change and get your names onto our puzzle! I am putting one of the puzzles together today so we can start putting everyone's name on it that we have so far.
Thank you all for blessing us and supporting us through this time in our life!
Please continue to pray for us as we go through the home study process. We are very relaxed about it knowing and trusting that God will give us the strength we need in each moment. It will be a invasion on our privacy, but we know that it is another step closer to getting our baby.
We love you all and thank you again for your love and support.
If you want to hear more about my trip to Africa, please connect with me and we can plan a time to get together, chat and maybe see pictures!
So I failed miserably at blogging while I was in Africa, but honestly I didn't have too much time to. Our time was jammed packed with spending time with my family, working at the babies home and seeing Uganda. It was an amazing three weeks and I have been stretched and challenged greatly, but it's so nice to be home.
I just wanted to update you guys briefly about our adoption process. We currently have just shy of $15,000 in the bank! Which is amazing! The generosity that everyone has shown us has been such a blessing! We are getting so much closer to our goal of $35,000! Please remember that we have an ongoing fundraiser for people to buy a puzzle piece. For a minimum $5 donation to our adoption fund you can get your name on the back of a puzzle piece that will show our child the people who helped us build our family. Can you spare $5? We sure hope you would!
We are planning on doing some other fundraisers, but at this point in time our home study is at the forefront of our priorities. We start our home study TODAY!!! This is very good and exciting, but from here on out, each step that we make involves money. We will be taking our first withdrawal out of our baby fund today to pay for our home study. It costs $1800. After our home study is complete in about a month or so, we will then apply to our agency and again that costs money, so we please just encourage you to spare some change, encourage your friends to spare some change and get your names onto our puzzle! I am putting one of the puzzles together today so we can start putting everyone's name on it that we have so far.
Thank you all for blessing us and supporting us through this time in our life!
Please continue to pray for us as we go through the home study process. We are very relaxed about it knowing and trusting that God will give us the strength we need in each moment. It will be a invasion on our privacy, but we know that it is another step closer to getting our baby.
We love you all and thank you again for your love and support.
If you want to hear more about my trip to Africa, please connect with me and we can plan a time to get together, chat and maybe see pictures!
Friday, June 14, 2013
Mountain moving Faith
Greetings to you all from Uganda!!
I left on Sunday morning along with my brother and sister and we made it here safely. We have been doing a lot of work in the baby home that my mom has been working in here and it has been great. It’s really hard for me to snuggle and get to know all these little ones knowing that I will not be able to take them home with me. But I am comforted in knowing that they are part of an amazing organization – Watoto – and will have a safe home here as they grow. If you do not already sponsor a child, I strongly urge you to sponsor a Watoto child.
Since being here I have been greatly called out on my disbelief by the Ugandan people. In North America we love to put God in a box and leave him there. Here they fully believe with all their heart in the amazing power of God and he provides for them. They ask for his help first thing, and cling to his promises – and he answers.
As I have shared with these people my inability to have children – they immediately started telling me to never say can’t again. They asked me “did you create yourself? There is only one who knows your body like that and he will give you a child”. When they spoke with me they never said God can, they said he will. The speak believing in God’s power and knowing that he will answer - but we need to first ask and ask BELIEVING that he will do it. The stories these people have about how God has provided for them is amazing, and it’s because God comes first here. I have been greatly challenged by how great faith these people have.
At the same time, I had one Ugandan man who told me to completely abandon the idea of adoption, as God will give me a child. This is amazing faith, however I do not believe that this is right for me. I firmly believe that adoption is how I am going to build my family. I have always been the person who wants to love those who no one wants or loves. And because of the cost of adoption I probably wouldn’t have pursued it if Justin and I weren’t infertile. God really knows us and he knows how he will need to get us to do the things we are to do. This adoption has been rooted in me since I was young, and I am just realizing now the love that God has filled me with is for this adoption, for my baby.
I have now reached a point where I am aware that I am putting limits on God. I’m not saying that Justin and I can’t have children anymore. Because we can, GOD CAN and WILL! I feel like none of these words really portray how amazing my experience in Uganda has been thus far, but pray that God will help you readers understand it.
I want to try to blog while I’m here, but it’s been very busy. My sister has blogged a couple of times and has put up some pictures – her blog is located on her website courtneyliskephotography.com you can follow with us there. You can also check out my parent’s blog selingersinuganda.blogspot.ca they update regularly, even when we aren’t here visiting.
Please continue to pray for us while we are here. Driving here is incredibly scary. Safety is really needed. Also pray for my heart as I have been stretched very thin already since I have been here and I know that God has much more in store for me already. My heart has been really convicted, challenged and stirred. Please pray that God will give me peace as I confess and grow in my faith. I have also developed a cold, which happens when working with the babes. They all have snotty noses! Pray for my whole family as we are spreading this cold amongst ourselves. And please just continue to pray for us in our time together, that our conversations would continue to meaningful and that God would be glorified.
If you want to hear all the stories I have about Uganda (I haven't posted any because I wouldn't be able to stop) please come and see me when I am home and I will show you pictures also.
Love you all!
I left on Sunday morning along with my brother and sister and we made it here safely. We have been doing a lot of work in the baby home that my mom has been working in here and it has been great. It’s really hard for me to snuggle and get to know all these little ones knowing that I will not be able to take them home with me. But I am comforted in knowing that they are part of an amazing organization – Watoto – and will have a safe home here as they grow. If you do not already sponsor a child, I strongly urge you to sponsor a Watoto child.
Since being here I have been greatly called out on my disbelief by the Ugandan people. In North America we love to put God in a box and leave him there. Here they fully believe with all their heart in the amazing power of God and he provides for them. They ask for his help first thing, and cling to his promises – and he answers.
As I have shared with these people my inability to have children – they immediately started telling me to never say can’t again. They asked me “did you create yourself? There is only one who knows your body like that and he will give you a child”. When they spoke with me they never said God can, they said he will. The speak believing in God’s power and knowing that he will answer - but we need to first ask and ask BELIEVING that he will do it. The stories these people have about how God has provided for them is amazing, and it’s because God comes first here. I have been greatly challenged by how great faith these people have.
At the same time, I had one Ugandan man who told me to completely abandon the idea of adoption, as God will give me a child. This is amazing faith, however I do not believe that this is right for me. I firmly believe that adoption is how I am going to build my family. I have always been the person who wants to love those who no one wants or loves. And because of the cost of adoption I probably wouldn’t have pursued it if Justin and I weren’t infertile. God really knows us and he knows how he will need to get us to do the things we are to do. This adoption has been rooted in me since I was young, and I am just realizing now the love that God has filled me with is for this adoption, for my baby.
I have now reached a point where I am aware that I am putting limits on God. I’m not saying that Justin and I can’t have children anymore. Because we can, GOD CAN and WILL! I feel like none of these words really portray how amazing my experience in Uganda has been thus far, but pray that God will help you readers understand it.
I want to try to blog while I’m here, but it’s been very busy. My sister has blogged a couple of times and has put up some pictures – her blog is located on her website courtneyliskephotography.com you can follow with us there. You can also check out my parent’s blog selingersinuganda.blogspot.ca they update regularly, even when we aren’t here visiting.
Please continue to pray for us while we are here. Driving here is incredibly scary. Safety is really needed. Also pray for my heart as I have been stretched very thin already since I have been here and I know that God has much more in store for me already. My heart has been really convicted, challenged and stirred. Please pray that God will give me peace as I confess and grow in my faith. I have also developed a cold, which happens when working with the babes. They all have snotty noses! Pray for my whole family as we are spreading this cold amongst ourselves. And please just continue to pray for us in our time together, that our conversations would continue to meaningful and that God would be glorified.
If you want to hear all the stories I have about Uganda (I haven't posted any because I wouldn't be able to stop) please come and see me when I am home and I will show you pictures also.
Love you all!
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Long time, no blog.
Hey guys, I want to apologize for the lack of blogging lately. The last couple weeks have been way more hectic than I ever want to experience again, but I thought I would kind of give you guys a bit of a summary of what we have been up to. We packed up and moved out of our mould infested rental home into our new to us house on May 31. My grandma and mother in law came and helped us completely clean our old place and start unpacking a bit at our new house. We started painting on June 1st and have accomplished a lot! All 4 bedrooms have been painted and the main floor living room. It's amazing how a few coats of paint have really revitalized the look of the house already. Justin still has some work to do in the bathrooms and the upstairs hallway before we can paint, but it will all look fabulous when we are done! We have somewhat unpacked. Hopefully now that most of our painting is done, we will be able to stop living out of boxes and unpack! I apologize, I do not have pictures on my computer, they are on Justin's and I will eventually post some pictures of the new house... you might just have to stop by sometime! The pictures will come!
Justin and I were both in a wedding yesterday, which was so much fun and amazing. It was a long busy day, but it was beautiful, even with all the rain! After getting to sleep around midnight last night, our alarm went off at 330 this morning to get us up and out the door for my trip to Africa! So I am currently sitting in Calgary (we have a 8 hour lay over here), then we are off to Amsterdam, then Entebbe! I am so excited and ready to see my parents.
I would like to ask for your prayers for this trip, for safety for me and my siblings, but also just for protection over my overly sensitive heart. The last couple of weeks have been exhausting and thus I find myself on emotional overload. Justin and I tried to go to a movie on Tuesday that sold out so we therefore couldn't see it and I cried. It's been a lot these last few weeks. I am excited for Africa but also know how much my heart is going to break for the people there, especially the children. I will hopefully be able to blog (with pictures!), while I'm there.
In adoption news, Justin and I start our home study on July 2nd!!! This process will take about a month. Then we can move on to applying to the agency in Florida. Stuff is really coming together.
Thanks for all the love, help with painting (Ash, Rose and Anna!!! THANK YOU!!), we have been busy and I have been really missing blogging.
Love you guys, thanks for reading this very short update. Keep us in your prayers as I'm in Africa and Justin's at home.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
The waiting game
Sometimes I ask myself "Is there anytime in your life that it would be good news to be infertile". And my answer is no. The only way it would be good is if I didn't want children. Then it would purely save me money on birth control - which I have to say even now is an upside, I guess.
The fact is: we don't plan crappy things to happen. And sometimes the timing of it is like - really? NOW? Justin and I had been 'trying' to get pregnant for a few months before I went into Nursing school over 3 years ago. We decided to stop once we found out I was accepted into school. Part of me wishes we hadn't stopped trying so that we would have known and could have planned things a bit differently.... but even though I love the back to the future movies - I know that we can't change the past so I need to stop dwelling on it.
For the readers that know me and know me well. I'm impatient. I really hate waiting for things. Why should I wait when I want this now? Although I feel like I have grown more patient over the past few years, I feel like waiting for this baby may be the ultimate test of patience. I want my baby TODAY! And today I am feeling rather hopeless.
It is incredibly painful for me to even go on facebook somedays. Don't get me wrong - I'm so excited for all you people that are having babies but somedays my pain and jealousy can really overtake that joy. I'm not jealous to the point of resenting or disliking people, I just tend to cry and wish that I could do what all you people experiencing pregnancy are doing. Knowing that I will NEVER be able to do it that way.... really leaves me ready to just sit down and give up. And say ok.... I'm done.
I was even saying to Justin yesterday "we might as well start saving up for our next baby". Justin and I have always planned on having around 3 - 4 children. Cooking them the normal way is cheaper - but we didn't get dealt that hand. If we were to adopt 4 children - that is a total of $120,000(ish) to build our family. Plus you have to wait for the one before to be at least one year old before you can start the process again and the process is about 2 years long.... So to do the math for you guys that is 9 years to have 4 babies. That just seems long to me. Even if Justin and I do decide to pursue fertility treatments, at $10,000 a cycle - it's not cheap. I guess I'm just frustrated that this isn't a right now issue.... it will be an issue for as long as I want kids, which right now feels like it's going to last eternity.
My main feelings of hopelessness come from the fact that there is no foreseeable end to this issue. Even with our current adoptive process - it could be a very long time before we get to meet our baby. The not knowing is what hurts so much. If I just had a date, then I could tell everyone - I will get my baby November 13, 2014 .... but I don't have a date, and it's probably going to be a while before I do.
I just want to educate you guys a bit on the adoptive process and where we are right now. Justin and I started the entire process almost 6 months ago. We still have our homestudy to be completed in July (where someone comes in and goes through our life with a fine tooth comb and deems us as suitable or unsuitable to raise children) and in August we will be applying to our agency in Florida. Our wait time is about 9 - 18 months once we are in with our agency, so from August.
Although I have had many interesting things said to me.... and if you want to read my blog on what to say and what not to say (warning... that blog is a bit ranty)it was the second blog that I wrote so you can check that out. I am consistently amazed however at how little the general population knows about the adoption process and how long it takes. And honestly, I wouldn't know about it if I wasn't having to pursue it. We live in a society of instant gratification and I think that's what people expect when I tell them I am adopting. This is how a certain conversation went for me last week
Lady: "So you are adopting? Congrats, where are you adopting from?"
Me: "Yes, we are adopting a newborn from Florida!"
Lady: "So when do you get your baby?"
Me: (kind of laughing)"Oh it will be a while yet"
Lady: "Well hasn't the pregnant mom told you her due date?"
Me: "Ya, my baby has probably not even been conceived yet..."
I think people just don't realize how long this process takes. And I feel bad for kind of laughing at people but everyone's asking me when and I'm thinking I would love to know when, but I don't and won't for a while. It is really hard some days to tell people that I may very well not get a baby until 2015.... but as hard as that is to swallow, it is true.
Time... I feel like it's going by fast and slow at the same time. I have been working as a RN for over half a year now... CRAZY! But I have only been pursueing adoption for half a year? That seems like it should be longer.
The waiting game is taking it's toll on me today, and I haven't even started 'actively waiting'. So I wait for August, when I can hopefully 'actively wait'.
Until then, I'll be 'unactively waiting' for time to hurry up and pass so that I can one day meet that beautiful child that I can call my own and enter into the exhaustion yet bliss that is motherhood.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
WHIRLWIND!!!
Hello everyone! So I feel as though we have been caught up in a giant whirlwind the last week or so. All of our conditions and financing have been approved for our home. Right now we are just dealing with all the closing costs and paperwork and we will be taking possession of our house on May 31st - less than 2 weeks away. It's been such a whirlwind and feels really surreal, but we are so excited to get into our home! We are busy picking out some paint colours and trying to pack what we can at this point. It's been so busy.
As crazy as it is that we are buying a house at this exact moment in time, I really have seen God's hand in this. Things are never in our time but in Gods. We are a little overwhelmed some days with the move and whatnot, but we are thankful that we will be there before our homestudy is done. Our homestudy will begin in July, once I get back from Africa. It will be good to have our homestudy completed in the home that we will be raising our baby in. We think and hope that it will be easier than if we were to move after our homestudy was done and we were still in the process. We are trusting in God's timing and provision during this time.
At the same time, we are tucking away savings for the baby, trying to figure out when the right time to buy baby furniture is.... (Justin won't let me buy it until at least August), and we are also trying to figure out some fundraisers for the future. I announced our puzzle piece fundraiser earlier and I can now announce that we have finally bought our puzzle, well actually puzzles. We found two puzzles that we thought would be cute in a baby room that also will display the American heritage that our baby will have. The puzzles are each 300 pieces, so we have a total of 600 pieces to sell. A minimum of $5 donation to our baby fund will get your name on the back of one of those puzzle pieces (as mentioned earlier if you have previously given us a donation, you have already bought a puzzle piece). Our baby will be able to see daily the people that helped us build our family. The picture of the two puzzles are below.
Thanks again for all your support and prayers. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to sit down and actually write a blog that goes a bit a deeper as it has been a while since I've written one of those. Please keep us in your prayers. We are so excited to get our home, but it will be hard to prepare a nursery not knowing when our baby is going to join us. I also go to Africa in three weeks and will be spending a lot of time with orphans that have been abandoned.... I will want to bring every single one home with me. Pray that my heart doesn't get completely trampled on. It will be hard to leave them all behind. Everyday that passes I feel like I'm even more overdue for motherhood. We have been able to have our niece and nephew spend the weekend with us and it just makes me want babies even more (although I would have liked to sleep past 7 this morning). It's still hard to watch others expanding their families so easily. One day, we will forget about all this pain. I know when we meet our little one that the pain will be so tiny compared to the love that I will have for that child. I'm so excited for that day. Until then, we wait.
Love you all.
Monday, May 13, 2013
What's the plan? Our next, ongoing fundraiser.
Hello again everyone! I just wanted to give you guys an update on where we are in the fundraising department. We have been so overwhelmed with the generosity of our loved ones including friends and family and also the generosity of people we hardly know. It is so amazing. Thanks to everyone's amazing donations our adoption fund is sitting at just over $13,000! We still have another $22,000 to raise, but we know that we will get there in time. We have a few ideas of fundraisers being tossed around in our house, and I just wanted to make an announcement about our puzzle piece fundraiser. Here is how it will work.
Justin and I are going to buy a puzzle. We are still looking for one that we both like and will kind of relate to the USA for the baby's room - we will find a puzzle soon! We are then going to sell each puzzle piece for $5. When you buy your puzzle piece for $5, your name will be written on the back of that puzzle piece. When our puzzle pieces have all been claimed, we will put the puzzle together and frame it in a two way frame so that we can see everyone who was involved in getting our baby here with us. We will be able to see how each individual worked together so that the big picture could come together - the puzzle will literally come together with each piece, just like our adoption with each donation! We are going to include all people who have given us a donation already in on this fundraiser. If you have given us just a monetary donation (not including banquet tickets or silent auction items) - we have kept track of our donations and will be writing the names of everyone who has given us a donation greater than $5 on a puzzle piece.
I look forward to being able to explain this puzzle to my little one one day. So they can visually see all the people that helped get them to us. That will be such a cool experience.
I will announce and post a picture of a puzzle when we find one. In the meantime start encouraging others to consider buying a puzzle piece. It's only $5 per person, but in the long run - that could make us a lot of money!! I will be starting a spreadsheet to track our puzzle piece sales and I so look forward to putting that puzzle together. Sounds like the best puzzle ever.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy Mother's Day!
Good morning all and Happy Mother's Day! This day we celebrate the amazing thing that motherhood is or at least what I imagine it will be. Just wanted to give a shout out to all the moms. Hope you are continually blessed by your beautiful children, I know that I am blessed to even be an aunt and I can't wait to have a baby for myself one day.
I also wanted to announce some news that Justin and I have to share! We have found a house! It happened way faster than we expected but God really works in ways that we don't always understand. We had been pre-approved for a mortgage and not even a week later we found our house. We had looked at several houses and none of them had sparked anything within us. On Wednesday this past week, Justin had been feeling really sickly and called in sick to work. I think he really needed the sleep. He had started feeling better and we were both home, so I suggested that we go look at this house that we had received information on from our realtor. We went and looked that afternoon and fell in love with this 1500 square foot 4 level split. Our bible study was then later cancelled which gave us the opportunity to put in an offer. We did have to compete a bit as someone else also put in an offer that night and the next morning we discovered they accepted our offer! We are now in the process of getting our financing in place and our home inspection is on Wednesday. If all goes well we will have possession on May 31st! Holy Smokes! That's incredibly fast, but God is really giving us peace as we go through this process.
Our home is in need of some painting, the previous owners seem to like to colour green a little too much! The house is like I said a 4 level split, it has four bedrooms, two full bathrooms, one half bath and two living areas. The 2nd basement (I call the levels - main level, upstairs, 1st basement and 2nd basement) is unfinished, which gives Justin a bit of freedom to do with it what he would like. It's so big, we will be here for a while! The area is the area that I grew up in so we will be close to my parent's house (my parents are currently in Uganda, but my brother lives there). The only downfall is that we are moving a bit farther away from my sister and their kids, we enjoy being so close to them now! But we are so excited for our new to us home! Pictures to follow!
Hope you guys enjoy your mother's day! We are heading out to spend time with Justin's parents in Caronport. Give your mom big hugs and lots of love today! Moms- love your kids (not that you don't already do that), but just know on this day celebrating moms.... I'm jealous of you all. One day (maybe next year?), I'll be a mom.
Love you guys.
I also wanted to announce some news that Justin and I have to share! We have found a house! It happened way faster than we expected but God really works in ways that we don't always understand. We had been pre-approved for a mortgage and not even a week later we found our house. We had looked at several houses and none of them had sparked anything within us. On Wednesday this past week, Justin had been feeling really sickly and called in sick to work. I think he really needed the sleep. He had started feeling better and we were both home, so I suggested that we go look at this house that we had received information on from our realtor. We went and looked that afternoon and fell in love with this 1500 square foot 4 level split. Our bible study was then later cancelled which gave us the opportunity to put in an offer. We did have to compete a bit as someone else also put in an offer that night and the next morning we discovered they accepted our offer! We are now in the process of getting our financing in place and our home inspection is on Wednesday. If all goes well we will have possession on May 31st! Holy Smokes! That's incredibly fast, but God is really giving us peace as we go through this process.
Our home is in need of some painting, the previous owners seem to like to colour green a little too much! The house is like I said a 4 level split, it has four bedrooms, two full bathrooms, one half bath and two living areas. The 2nd basement (I call the levels - main level, upstairs, 1st basement and 2nd basement) is unfinished, which gives Justin a bit of freedom to do with it what he would like. It's so big, we will be here for a while! The area is the area that I grew up in so we will be close to my parent's house (my parents are currently in Uganda, but my brother lives there). The only downfall is that we are moving a bit farther away from my sister and their kids, we enjoy being so close to them now! But we are so excited for our new to us home! Pictures to follow!
Hope you guys enjoy your mother's day! We are heading out to spend time with Justin's parents in Caronport. Give your mom big hugs and lots of love today! Moms- love your kids (not that you don't already do that), but just know on this day celebrating moms.... I'm jealous of you all. One day (maybe next year?), I'll be a mom.
Love you guys.
Friday, May 3, 2013
unfairness, discipline and love.
The journey of infertility is definitely not an easy road to travel. It causes you to ask a lot of why questions. Our logical brains really like to believe the myth that good things happen to good people. That everyone who wants a baby should have the right to do just that. But that's not the case. And it's really unfair. But fairness isn't part of this at all.
We live in a world that strives to serve justice to everyone who deserves it. We punish the bad, we reward the good. That's why it's better to be good. But in this same world we have things that we can't control. Bad things happen to good people. Drug addicts have babies that they don't want, people neglect or abuse their children everyday, and the people that want those children more than anything in the world, can't have them. I have done my fair share of questioning why God has put this struggle in our lives. And honestly, I don't know that I will ever know the answer as to why, but it has already challenged me and changed my life for the better.
No one plans for unexpected things. No one tucks away $30,000 dollars just in case they are unable to have children and choose to adopt. No one likes the hard times in life. We don't enjoy the darkness. Feeling alone, in pieces. No one wants that. But what I am learning through this time is that we grow the most in the darkness. When we feel the most vulnerable. You know when you were kids and you had growing pains? That is what I like to think of this time in my life. God stretching me, to completely uncomfortable, dark places. But I can already see how much I've grown.
Another mentality that I have really had to speak truth into is the idea that God is punishing me. He is punishing me for things that I did in my past. This mentality is believed so much in our world. There is a Christian character on Grey's Anatomy who has sex before marriage and then you watch her fall to pieces constantly because she believes God is punishing her. This is our view of God? That guilt, doesn't come from a holy God. That is our sin and need for forgiveness and repentance. God disciplines us, yes. However we are God's children, he loves us and wants us to grow and therefore doesn't just strike us down with lightening every time we make a mistake.
So many people in our world unfortunately have horrible earthly fathers. Which then messes up their view of what our heavenly father is like. I, do have a human father, who makes mistakes, but he is a pretty amazing dad. When I think of how much God loves us but yet needs to discipline us, I think of my dad.
When I was younger and would do something bad, (I know it's hard to believe, I am such an angel), dad would often spank us (me and my siblings). Typically we would get one maybe two smacks with the belt across our hands. As an adult, I have really grown to admire my father in how he disciplined us and here's how it would go. So, I would get in trouble, get sent to my room and usually have to sit and wait, knowing that the spanking was coming (that was the worst part- the guilt and feeling of impending doom). I really think that my dad used this time as an opportunity to calm himself, as not to discipline us in his anger. I would then get called into my dad's bedroom and he would ask me if I knew why I was getting the spanking. I always understood why, behaviour has consequences and I had to face them. My father - who looks like a very hard man, but is actually a huge softy on the inside - would then proceed to give me a smack or two on the hands and then afterwards would fall to his knees, wrap his arms around me and hold me tight. His eyes would fill with tears (he often cried more than I did) and he would tell me how much he loved me. This is what loving discipline is. It hurts and kind of sucks at times but is necessary for our growth.
Although this time in my life isn't a disciplinary time, God still allows things to happen to help us grow and to glorify him. Have you guys read the book of Job? God let everything happen to him. And he continued to bless God's name. I just pray that God will give me the grace and strength to bless his name through this hard time.
The idea of fairness is really something that doesn't work, even though our world tries to force it. Nothing in life is fair and it never will be on this side of heaven. We were given a choice, and we chose to live under our own messed up rules. That's why bad things happen. God doesn't make them happen, but allows things to happen. If he never allowed something bad to happen, would we ever grow? Would we ever be forced to change and question our ways? Our hearts are pretty hard sometimes and it's those hard times in our lives that break down the walls so that we may grow.
I think I'm done asking the question why, because honestly I think the moment that I will get my answer is the moment that I will get to hold my baby for the first time. So until then, I think I'm done asking questions. Maybe it's time to "be still and know that I am God". I rest in his peace, his love, his grace, and his strength.
My brain is pretty jumbled today as I kind of jumped all over the map of my inconsistent thoughts.... so thanks for sticking it out. I just want to point out that our baby account has officially jumped over the $10,000 hurdle! Thanks so much for all your love and support. We love and appreciate all your generosity way more than you could ever know.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Money: friend or foe?
When Justin and I found out about our infertility and started questioning about our options, the biggest reason against adopting a baby was simply the cost. It came from my lovely mother in law that said "don't decide not to adopt because of the money". Words that I found incredibly encouraging, but some days it's like "why did I listen?". Justin and I have been incredibly blessed and have lived a comfortable life. Mind you, we do have our share of debts (nursing school isn't a freebie) and we are working to pay them off. But this adoption has really challenged us in how we spend our money, and we have certainly started thinking a lot more about where we put it.
Justin and I started budgeting in about January of this year, which has been really good for us. We only spend our allotted amount each week. It's been good for us to learn how to save. The funny thing is that we began budgeting after I started working, so as we brought in more money we started being a bit more frugal with it. That's an interesting concept, but we are happy about it none the less.
The biggest issue I have with all this money stuff is simply that I really hate money. I really hate it. Like a lot. I feel like because we are fundraising for this adoption that all our money should be going towards that adoption. We have put some money towards the adoption, and we continue to do so, and truthfully if we do not raise all our funds, where is the rest of the money for the adoption going to come from? Us. Whether our savings account or our lines of credit, we will be needing to fill in the deficit.
It's incredibly humbling to ask people for money. I have had people ask me if we are accepting donations and I have always responded "I am very open to taking your money!", which I am, but it's a really humbling spot to be in. Because we are accepting donations I almost feel like I am accountable to those people who are giving us money with how I spend my money. I have never been in a position like I am now, feeling so incredibly overwhelmed with where my money should go.
Although I am incredibly jealous of people that can make their babies the natural way, with all the excitement and whatnot that comes with that. Lately, I've been jealous that their baby making ways are free. Everyone knows that babies cost money, and for the most part getting to the point where you have a newborn in your arms is inexpensive. You cooked and grew that baby for free. I'm really jealous of that. To get my baby in my arms, I will spend $30,000 plus travel expenses. That's INSANE!
I guess where a lot of my worry for money is coming from right now is this. I have expressed earlier that Justin and I currently live in a rental property that has some mould issues in the basement. We do not want a baby here. Our rent is ridiculously cheap and awesome, but we want to have a healthy environment to raise a baby in. Because rent is so high everywhere else in the city, we are starting the process to look into buying a house. I think buying a house is overwhelming when that's the only big expense that you are looking at, but when you are looking into buying a house and adopting a baby with all those wonderful costs.... it's a lot. It's almost like I feel guilty for buying a house, while still fundraising and asking for people to assist us with the cost of our adoption. And honestly, I want to be completely transparent with everyone about this topic. Our income tax refund was a substantial amount this year, which has given us the opportunity to even think about buying a house. We are praying about it, and will continue to pray that God will give us peace to know what decision we should be making. This is a huge financial decision.
I guess where I am worried is again about what people are going to say. Like "they just bought a house, why should I give them money for their adoption, when they just bought a house?". I really just want to trust that everyone who is giving us money can confidently know that your money is going towards our adoption. You should also know, that our money is going towards our adoption. So far the people that have made the largest donation in our adoption fund is Justin and Charissa Jaarsma. And I'm confident it will stay that way, and it should. We are putting a lot into this.... our hearts are completely in this.
We have been blown away by everyone's generosity. Our banquet was a huge success. I was so glad when it was over! A lot of work went into planning it. My sister helped me out significantly, we were both exhausted once the day finally came. We will be having some more fundraisers in the future. And hopefully our fundraisers will be able to raise all the funds that we need.
I just want you all to know that the money that you guys are giving us, is not something that we take lightly. It weighs really heavily on our hearts. We feel an incredible responsibility to you and your generosity. We want you to know that we are putting so much into this adoption and that we are also needing to think about raising this baby in a safe environment. I also want you to know, that this hasn't come up from any person saying anything to us. We feel great responsibility with the blessings that have been given to us and we want to spend the money God has given us appropriately.
Please pray that God would give us the wisdom in making decisions with our money in terms of buying a house. Please pray for our hearts to be filled with his peace.... I've been a bit anxious about this as you can probably tell from this post.
We love you all so much. We know and feel your love everyday. Thanks for reading along, I hope you have caught a glimpse of what's on my heart today.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Banquet fundraiser = HUGE SUCCESS!!
We just want to thank each and every person that came out to our banquet last night. It was a huge success! In total we had about 130 people come, which completely blew us away! Our Silent auction was pretty amazing. We made some serious cash from it and want to thank everyone who donated items! Thank you so much for your generosity. Our silent auction last night raised us $3525.10 towards our adoption! Huge!!
We wanted to give you the final number overall of what we made from the banquet. Between ticket sales, the silent auction and the generous donations of people we raised.... drumroll please.... $6137.60!!!!
I have been doing a horrible job at keeping the thermometer at the right balance, so today it is taking a GIANT leap all the way up to $9615.41!!! We are nearly one third done our fundraising! Thank you so much for all your love, support and generosity. We are well on our way to getting our baby!
In case you missed it here are a couple pictures from the night, one from the auction, one from our Q & A time that we had. I meant to get more pictures throughout the night, but was quite busy visiting with everyone!
We want to send out a huge thanks to our pastor, Blair who MC'd the evening and did a fantastic job! Thanks to my sister and brother in law, Courtney and Cameron who helped so much in the organizing and running of the event, and also to Kristen who made the center pieces. Thanks to everyone who helped tear everything down and clean up after. We were so blown away!
Thanks for your generosity! We wouldn't be able to do any of this without it! You are all amazing. We love you so much and thank you for all your prayers, love and financial support.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Banquet!
Hey everyone! So we are less than a week away from our banquet. Tickets sales are doing awesome, we have sold about 80 tickets so far and I think in total we will be around 100 people for the day of, so if you haven't got your tickets let us know and we will get them to you! I have been blown away from the generosity of everyone and I wanted to give you guys a bit of a sneak peak to some of the items we are having for the silent auction and as raffle items.
We have A LOT of items! We have kitchen items, stuff for the car, electronics, artsy stuff, baking, and even one item that is really big, about 40 inches I think. We've got something for everyone! Can't wait to see you guys there!
FYI: I know that we are calling this event a banquet but you guys can dress as fancy or as casual as you wish!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
What's with the suffering God?
So I know that no one wishes suffering on themselves, and even though that I would love to be able to get pregnant easily, these are cards that I have been dealt, and I know that it was for a reason. So many of us during times of suffering kind of sit in our little corner and cry to God saying, why me? Believe me, I've been there many of times. But as I'm maturing, I have really begun to learn that it is during these times that we are able to grow the most. Throughout the ups and downs in life, it's not the mountaintops that challenge you to grow, it's the valleys. The darker times of life can be really difficult, but they are a time for incredible growth and change. Rather than fighting this growth, I'm trying to embrace this time in my life and find out what God has in store for me.
There are a few things that I have learnt so far. The first one is that I'm not alone. As someone who hasn't maintained a lot of friendships and was bullied in school, I don't trust people easily and really hate meeting new people. I like sticking with people I know and playing it a bit safe. I also do not like to ask for help from others. God has really been challenging me in this area. It's really important for us to be "members of one body" and step up and help each other out when needed. How are people going to know if there is a need, if you don't ask? I have been blown away by the amount of love and support we have gotten during this time. It's been pretty neat. I've even had the pleasure of forming new relationships and making friends with people I didn't really know before, what a blessing! At the same time, I have also been able to relate with people in their times of hurt with infertility issues, so that's a really cool thing too.
A big thing that I am learning is to trust in God's provision. To trust that because he has called us to adoption, he's not going to leave us hanging with a $30K bill. Planning the fundraising banquet has been busy and stressful. Selling tickets - I hate selling things and feel like I am burdening someone every time I ask. I know that whether we have 80 people or 300, God is going to provide what is meant to be provided at that time. I am learning what it really means to give everything to God, and just leave it at his feet. I need not be anxious about this.... God's got it.
Another lesson I have learnt is that I have a really cool husband and I should enjoy the time we have to ourselves. I have really struggled in being content in the now. I always look forward to the future. Constantly wanting what's next. I often compare myself to other people my age and tell Justin if it was a race, we're losing. He replies, "good thing it's not a race". I am learning to trust that our baby will come in God's perfect timing, so in the meantime I should enjoy my time alone with my husband because that will be a rare thing to come by once the kids start coming.
The biggest thing that I have been reassured during this time, is that God loves me. He is not punishing me. He loves me so much that he wants me to grow. He wants to stretch me. Children being so incredibly close to my heart makes this time hard, but also an amazing opportunity to grow. It tests my faith, and reassures me that I am in control of nothing that God alone is the one who is in control.
Suffering shouldn't be a "why me?" time, but rather a time that we can thank God for not leaving us in the same spot. Thank you for stretching me, it's uncomfortable, but necessary. The valley's are hard, so don't let them go to waste. Grow to your full potential!
I look forward to seeing you guys at the banquet! We have an amazing line up of items for the silent auction! I'm going to release a list on the blog relatively soon so you guys have an idea of what's going to be there! Invite your friends and family, everyone you know! We'll see you there.
There are a few things that I have learnt so far. The first one is that I'm not alone. As someone who hasn't maintained a lot of friendships and was bullied in school, I don't trust people easily and really hate meeting new people. I like sticking with people I know and playing it a bit safe. I also do not like to ask for help from others. God has really been challenging me in this area. It's really important for us to be "members of one body" and step up and help each other out when needed. How are people going to know if there is a need, if you don't ask? I have been blown away by the amount of love and support we have gotten during this time. It's been pretty neat. I've even had the pleasure of forming new relationships and making friends with people I didn't really know before, what a blessing! At the same time, I have also been able to relate with people in their times of hurt with infertility issues, so that's a really cool thing too.
A big thing that I am learning is to trust in God's provision. To trust that because he has called us to adoption, he's not going to leave us hanging with a $30K bill. Planning the fundraising banquet has been busy and stressful. Selling tickets - I hate selling things and feel like I am burdening someone every time I ask. I know that whether we have 80 people or 300, God is going to provide what is meant to be provided at that time. I am learning what it really means to give everything to God, and just leave it at his feet. I need not be anxious about this.... God's got it.
Another lesson I have learnt is that I have a really cool husband and I should enjoy the time we have to ourselves. I have really struggled in being content in the now. I always look forward to the future. Constantly wanting what's next. I often compare myself to other people my age and tell Justin if it was a race, we're losing. He replies, "good thing it's not a race". I am learning to trust that our baby will come in God's perfect timing, so in the meantime I should enjoy my time alone with my husband because that will be a rare thing to come by once the kids start coming.
The biggest thing that I have been reassured during this time, is that God loves me. He is not punishing me. He loves me so much that he wants me to grow. He wants to stretch me. Children being so incredibly close to my heart makes this time hard, but also an amazing opportunity to grow. It tests my faith, and reassures me that I am in control of nothing that God alone is the one who is in control.
Suffering shouldn't be a "why me?" time, but rather a time that we can thank God for not leaving us in the same spot. Thank you for stretching me, it's uncomfortable, but necessary. The valley's are hard, so don't let them go to waste. Grow to your full potential!
I look forward to seeing you guys at the banquet! We have an amazing line up of items for the silent auction! I'm going to release a list on the blog relatively soon so you guys have an idea of what's going to be there! Invite your friends and family, everyone you know! We'll see you there.
Friday, April 12, 2013
The Process
I know, you're thinking, two posts in one day... What? I've been working a bit more lately and haven't had time to update much.... and I had two completely differing thoughts, so we split them up into two posts. So here. we. go.
I get a lot of questions about the process of the adoption, how we chose an agency, why we are adopting from Florida, and where we are at now. So I wanted to kind of use this post as a way of telling you some of the steps in this process and where are are at now.
So when deciding to pursue an international adoption in Saskatchewan, you first need to file an application with the Ministry of Social and Services and be approved by them for this adoption. On the application, you must have already picked a country to adopt from and one specific agency to work with. The agency we are working with is called adoption by Shepherd care. They are located in Florida and we chose them for many reasons. When I began contacting agencies from the list of legitimate, qualified agencies (that I got from social services), many of them didn't get back to me very quickly, some not at all! It was an incredibly frustrating time. This agency got back to me quickly, continued to answer my ridiculous amount of questions and were amazing about it. That was a huge thing for me, if I was going to be spending big bucks, I wanted to at least do it with an agency that communicates well with us. One of the biggest contributing factors in the decision though, for us, was this agencies experience with adopting children specifically to Saskatchewan. They adopt many children every year to Canada, and did about 5-6 adoptions to Saskatchewan alone last year. Seeing as we have no idea what's what and this is so new to us, we really valued their experience. The one downfall, that we found with this agency, was simply that because so many Canadians want to adopt from the USA, their Canadian program was currently closed (to keep wait times short) and would be for about another six months. We didn't really want to wait, but we found that this agency was worth a few extra months of childlessness.
So we filled out our application for Social services, picked the agency. We then had to meet with Social Services and there they kind of got to know us and see why we wanted to adopt, etc, etc and we were approved by Saskatchewan ministry of Social Services! The next step is to get the home study portion done. The home study involves a qualified person, coming into your home and going through your life with a fine toothed comb. From financials, to sex, to views on disciplining..... it will be very invasive.... they want to make sure that we aren't psychos and are going to care for the child we are going to adopt. As a side note.... to go through all this... as it's not a simple process.... you would really need a desire to want and love that child, so I don't know who would do this to get a child to neglect... just saying! Anyways this is currently where we are. We haven't quite started our home study process, but anticipate it will be beginning soon. We are waiting to get the go ahead from our agency in the USA. Your home study needs to be update annually, so we don't want to waste time and money by having it done too early. Timing is key!
So after the home study is finished. The social worker person that does our home study will write up a report and we will then apply to our agency. Based on our application and the home study report, the agency will then accept us (I have been reassured that we will really only be denied if we are crazies, have histories that we haven't been honest about, etc... so we should be good) and then we will be actively waiting. Thankfully during this time that we have been waiting for the agency, we have been able to work on our adoption profile. This is what prospective birth moms will look at when choosing which family to place their baby with. Ours is still getting perfected, but should be ready soon!
So there are a couple ways our story could work out. A mom who is pregnant usually 4-5 months will pick us and then we will wait the arrival of our little one! Or we could receive a phone call saying that a mom did pick us and the baby is sitting in the hospital waiting for us to come get it ! (this thought kind of scares me a bit). So when a mom picks us, we will receive a file on her and her health history and all the info pertaining to the baby's prenatal health and what not and we can choose to accept or deny the offer.
Once our baby is born, the mom will sign the adoption papers either two days after birth or upon her discharge from the hospital, whichever is first. Once she has signed, she can't change her mind. There is no revocation period in the state of Florida. So we will then go down to Florida, pick up our baby, stay there for about a week to figure out all the legal stuff, immigration stuff and then return to Canada with our baby! After our return we have some post placement studies that need to be done with the person who did our home study. Then we update the mom monthly on baby for the first year and then annually until baby is 18.
So that's the process in a nutshell. We have started fundraising so early because where we are at right now.... everything from this point on costs money. Our home study costs about $2000 (not including potential updates or post placement studies), when we apply and get accepted to the agency we have to pay about another $2000, when a birth mother picks us and we accept we need to pay between $5000 - $8000 to help pay for her expenses (living expenses, counselling, medical bills, etc) and when we go down to get our child we will need to pay the $14,000 in agency fees as well as a lot of money for all the different legal documents and passports and what not that we will need in order to bring our baby back to Canada. None of this includes our travel expenses.
As far as a wait time, Once we are in with the agency, the agency says the wait time is about 9 - 18 months.
So, I hope I was able to as clearly as possible explain a bit of the process! Citizenship and Immigration is another huge thing that I still haven't wrapped my head around, so maybe I'll explain that when I understand it!
Look forward to seeing you guys at the banquet! Buy tickets now!
I get a lot of questions about the process of the adoption, how we chose an agency, why we are adopting from Florida, and where we are at now. So I wanted to kind of use this post as a way of telling you some of the steps in this process and where are are at now.
So when deciding to pursue an international adoption in Saskatchewan, you first need to file an application with the Ministry of Social and Services and be approved by them for this adoption. On the application, you must have already picked a country to adopt from and one specific agency to work with. The agency we are working with is called adoption by Shepherd care. They are located in Florida and we chose them for many reasons. When I began contacting agencies from the list of legitimate, qualified agencies (that I got from social services), many of them didn't get back to me very quickly, some not at all! It was an incredibly frustrating time. This agency got back to me quickly, continued to answer my ridiculous amount of questions and were amazing about it. That was a huge thing for me, if I was going to be spending big bucks, I wanted to at least do it with an agency that communicates well with us. One of the biggest contributing factors in the decision though, for us, was this agencies experience with adopting children specifically to Saskatchewan. They adopt many children every year to Canada, and did about 5-6 adoptions to Saskatchewan alone last year. Seeing as we have no idea what's what and this is so new to us, we really valued their experience. The one downfall, that we found with this agency, was simply that because so many Canadians want to adopt from the USA, their Canadian program was currently closed (to keep wait times short) and would be for about another six months. We didn't really want to wait, but we found that this agency was worth a few extra months of childlessness.
So we filled out our application for Social services, picked the agency. We then had to meet with Social Services and there they kind of got to know us and see why we wanted to adopt, etc, etc and we were approved by Saskatchewan ministry of Social Services! The next step is to get the home study portion done. The home study involves a qualified person, coming into your home and going through your life with a fine toothed comb. From financials, to sex, to views on disciplining..... it will be very invasive.... they want to make sure that we aren't psychos and are going to care for the child we are going to adopt. As a side note.... to go through all this... as it's not a simple process.... you would really need a desire to want and love that child, so I don't know who would do this to get a child to neglect... just saying! Anyways this is currently where we are. We haven't quite started our home study process, but anticipate it will be beginning soon. We are waiting to get the go ahead from our agency in the USA. Your home study needs to be update annually, so we don't want to waste time and money by having it done too early. Timing is key!
So after the home study is finished. The social worker person that does our home study will write up a report and we will then apply to our agency. Based on our application and the home study report, the agency will then accept us (I have been reassured that we will really only be denied if we are crazies, have histories that we haven't been honest about, etc... so we should be good) and then we will be actively waiting. Thankfully during this time that we have been waiting for the agency, we have been able to work on our adoption profile. This is what prospective birth moms will look at when choosing which family to place their baby with. Ours is still getting perfected, but should be ready soon!
So there are a couple ways our story could work out. A mom who is pregnant usually 4-5 months will pick us and then we will wait the arrival of our little one! Or we could receive a phone call saying that a mom did pick us and the baby is sitting in the hospital waiting for us to come get it ! (this thought kind of scares me a bit). So when a mom picks us, we will receive a file on her and her health history and all the info pertaining to the baby's prenatal health and what not and we can choose to accept or deny the offer.
Once our baby is born, the mom will sign the adoption papers either two days after birth or upon her discharge from the hospital, whichever is first. Once she has signed, she can't change her mind. There is no revocation period in the state of Florida. So we will then go down to Florida, pick up our baby, stay there for about a week to figure out all the legal stuff, immigration stuff and then return to Canada with our baby! After our return we have some post placement studies that need to be done with the person who did our home study. Then we update the mom monthly on baby for the first year and then annually until baby is 18.
So that's the process in a nutshell. We have started fundraising so early because where we are at right now.... everything from this point on costs money. Our home study costs about $2000 (not including potential updates or post placement studies), when we apply and get accepted to the agency we have to pay about another $2000, when a birth mother picks us and we accept we need to pay between $5000 - $8000 to help pay for her expenses (living expenses, counselling, medical bills, etc) and when we go down to get our child we will need to pay the $14,000 in agency fees as well as a lot of money for all the different legal documents and passports and what not that we will need in order to bring our baby back to Canada. None of this includes our travel expenses.
As far as a wait time, Once we are in with the agency, the agency says the wait time is about 9 - 18 months.
So, I hope I was able to as clearly as possible explain a bit of the process! Citizenship and Immigration is another huge thing that I still haven't wrapped my head around, so maybe I'll explain that when I understand it!
Look forward to seeing you guys at the banquet! Buy tickets now!
Overwhelmed.... with love.
When we started throwing around the idea of fundraising, I was really unsure and unsettled about the idea. I was really scared to put myself out there, I was worried people would think it was unethical to raise money to help "purchase a baby", and I was just not sure about it. Now that we have put ourselves out there, I have to say that I really do feel uncomfortable with it all, but in a good way. Let me explain.
For another tidbit of background on me: I grew up with no friends. My friends were incredibly inconsistent and I was the child that everyone made fun of since forever. My sister on the other hand had awesome friends, was always surrounded by friends, some of which that she met in elementary school - and she still hangs out with them today. I was always jealous of that. Because of many things in my life, and my lack of popularity being one, I have always been very insecure with myself and it has been extremely hard for me to accept love from people. When Justin and I started dating, it took a very long time for me to be able to accept a compliment from him, I always put those comments down, and even today I still struggle with fully accepting the love that my husband wants to give me.
So when we decided to fundraise, I was all "I'll take people's money, no problem. If they're giving, I'll take it!" But in reality, it is an incredibly humbling experience. It's not easy to take people's money because of the love that accompanies it. Love that I wasn't even aware of.... that was completely unexpected.
Finances aside, this entire experience has really opened my eyes to the people that love and support Justin and I. I am so blown away from the love and vulnerability of others, and I feel so incredibly privileged to be able to know people in a much deeper way. This time in my life, has really opened up some amazing doors in relationships I have with others, and honestly I love it.
I just wanted you guys to know that we are feeling all of this, everyday. This love is so incredibly overwhelming and I just wanted to say thanks. The scary part is that we have only just begun on this long fundraising journey! We are now over $2000! but we have a long ways ahead of us... and I'm looking forward to being overwhelmed then too.
Thank you so much from the bottom of my broken heart - your love and support for us has cast out my fears of not being popular enough, or pretty enough, or cool enough, and has helped me accept that other people do love and accept me, so maybe it's about time I do that too.
Today I am incredibly overwhelmed with the love and generosity from the people around me and thanks doesn't even begin to share how grateful I am (and Justin too) for all your love, kind words, and money. You guys are pretty awesome, so thanks!
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