Hey Everyone! Here's a quick update for you all. So our birthmom is due 35 days from today (according to her dates due date) or 31 days from now according to the ultrasound, which is what I am choosing to follow. We received word that our mom has been admitted into the hospital with some sort of pain - not related to the baby - but she is getting the care she needs there. So we've been praying that she will heal quickly of whatever it is that is ailing her! Otherwise, we hope to meet this little guy in the next 2-4 weeks!
We spoke with our birthmom's caseworker on Monday. The call went great. Our caseworker is fabulous! She is a much better communicator than the one we had with our previous match which is such a great change! She says that she is expecting our mom to go into to labour sooner rather than later, just because she has been carrying quite low the last little bit. That baby needs to stay in for two more weeks! Then after that he can come whenever!
In the meantime, I have been working like crazy this past month, but am finally getting a week off after these last two shifts tonight and tomorrow night. I hope to get our house completely cleaned up and organized and ready for the baby in that time. Justin will be out of town next week, I hope to accomplish a lot while he is away!
Things to pray for: As always pray for our birthmom. Pray for her to experience peace in her decision and pray that she will follow through with the adoption plan. Pray for the baby, that he would be born full term and would be healthy! Pray for the exchange rate! As we quickly approach our due date, I'm experiencing a bit of anxiety with the financials, trusting God to care for us, but nervous of how much into the red we will be going. If the canadian dollar would miraculously jump, I don't know, like 20 cents, that would ease our financial burden significantly. Pray for us as we wait. Pray that time would pass quickly, as we anticipate bringing home our son. Pray that we would be ready to become parents as much as we can be! Pray that this one is for keeps! We are excited, with a bit of nervousness mixed in, for good reason.
We thank you all for the amazing support that you have been throughout this journey. We can't wait to get our little boy home and share him with all of you!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Friday, October 23, 2015
We're expecting.... again!
Well God sure has a sense of humour. Only a few hours after I posted my post yesterday, we received a call from social services that we had been matched with another expectant birthmom! Although we've been praying that our next match would be an instant placement where baby is already born and we travel immediately, we are happy with this one. Our little boy is due November 29 (or also Dec 3rd because she has been given two dates, but we go with the earlier one). We are excited, but a bit reserved and anxious, praying that this will be our baby. It is no surprise that there is a little fear as we wait for this one, but we are praying and praying that he is ours. In meantime we are excited that we are fully ready for a baby boy as we were stocked up on boy stuff for the last one. So now it's time to just start cleaning up my house and work like crazy to get more money in the bank because I'm going to be off work in like 5 weeks! Whew. So excited. But totally feel like I could vomit at any point in the day.
Please pray for peace for us but also for our birthmom. Pray that she is fully committed to this adoption plan and that our hearts don't get broken again. Pray that the next five weeks will fly by! Pray our baby will enter this world healthy and strong. We can't wait to meet him!
Please pray for peace for us but also for our birthmom. Pray that she is fully committed to this adoption plan and that our hearts don't get broken again. Pray that the next five weeks will fly by! Pray our baby will enter this world healthy and strong. We can't wait to meet him!
Thursday, October 22, 2015
We're still here.
Hey everyone! Thought I should maybe write something to let you know we haven't fallen off the face of the planet. Here's what's been happening.
It has been 79 days since our adoption fell through (but who's counting?), and honestly I feel surprised that it's ONLY been 79 days. It has felt so so much longer. 27 days after our match fell through we were offered another match, to which we said no. Justin and I reviewed all the information on the potential match and we prayed and prayed and prayed about it. We talked to a few trusted family members and friends and all of us had the same opinion - that this child would not be ours. It was an incredibly hard day to say no to a potential match and I was really frustrated that God would even let it be proposed to us, but I guess it really proved to us that we are truly waiting for the child that is ours - not just any baby. I have always said I would say yes to any child because it's a child, so I guess that proved that theory wrong.
Since we received that proposal, we have really heard nothing. I talk to the agency every 1-2 weeks. They reassure me they are working to find us a baby. The last time I spoke with them they told us that they have several moms due in December that will be getting matched soon - so hoping that our baby is in there somewhere, but honestly not fully counting on it. Although I really hope and pray we have a baby this year, I've gotten to a point where it feels like I've been waiting for so long that it really feels like it will never happen. Although I know that it will, I feel it's best to not get my hopes up until something does happen. So I am finally going to stop having expectations, because all of them have been wrong so far. I expected to be matched within 6-9 months of actively waiting because we are a young couple with no kids who make a good living(here we are on our 21st month anniversary of actively waiting), I expected to have a baby in the summer and that our mom was set on her adoption plan (that didn't happen), I expected to get a baby 1-2 months after our match fell through because our agency puts us at the top of the list (it's been 79 days) and I expected that 2015 was going to be the year I became a mom, but maybe it won't be. I feel like I'm finally letting go of my expectations, and it's a good thing. Although it may sounds like hopelessness, it's not. I'm hopeful, but without a date or expectations in mind, because when it doesn't happen it makes it harder. I have also learned that when I trust God to wait for my children, that means it's up to His timing. I can't follow his will and then throw tantrums when it doesn't follow my timeline. God has a plan for us, He loves us and will make us parents in accordance to His will. Although I hope this is relatively soon, ultimately it doesn't matter because I have no control over it anyways.
Many times throughout our adoption plan I have said (whether to God, my husband, or close family and friends) if we are still waiting in X amount of time, I'm not going to be able to handle it. I said that in August 2014 about still waiting until this past August. I said that about my brother having a baby before me, which he did in August. I have said that about Justin's sister who will become a mother before I do in the beginning of December. I have said it about being childless another Christmas this year. But the truth is that I am FINALLY learning. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who has kids before me. It doesn't matter how long I wait. I will still be here. I always knew I wouldn't be able to wait this long and I wouldn't be able to handle this. But the truth is, is that God is good. He is good in the good times and he is good when it's bad. It's HIS strength that has pulled me through many dark months of waiting. It was HIS strength that held my hand when I found out that I wasn't going to be a mom in August. It was HIS strength that allowed me to go back to work and still love helping women meet their children for the first time. It is HIS strength that lets me keep waiting and prevents me from having a complete mental breakdown. God is good, all the time. I can't wait until he blesses us with children. I have no idea and no more expectations of when that will be. I'm just going to focus on getting through today first.
We have been so blessed with many amazing people around us and again want to thank you all for the love and support. I hope it won't be long until we can share our joy of becoming parents with you all. But until then we will just wait and trust that God knows what he is doing.
It has been 79 days since our adoption fell through (but who's counting?), and honestly I feel surprised that it's ONLY been 79 days. It has felt so so much longer. 27 days after our match fell through we were offered another match, to which we said no. Justin and I reviewed all the information on the potential match and we prayed and prayed and prayed about it. We talked to a few trusted family members and friends and all of us had the same opinion - that this child would not be ours. It was an incredibly hard day to say no to a potential match and I was really frustrated that God would even let it be proposed to us, but I guess it really proved to us that we are truly waiting for the child that is ours - not just any baby. I have always said I would say yes to any child because it's a child, so I guess that proved that theory wrong.
Since we received that proposal, we have really heard nothing. I talk to the agency every 1-2 weeks. They reassure me they are working to find us a baby. The last time I spoke with them they told us that they have several moms due in December that will be getting matched soon - so hoping that our baby is in there somewhere, but honestly not fully counting on it. Although I really hope and pray we have a baby this year, I've gotten to a point where it feels like I've been waiting for so long that it really feels like it will never happen. Although I know that it will, I feel it's best to not get my hopes up until something does happen. So I am finally going to stop having expectations, because all of them have been wrong so far. I expected to be matched within 6-9 months of actively waiting because we are a young couple with no kids who make a good living(here we are on our 21st month anniversary of actively waiting), I expected to have a baby in the summer and that our mom was set on her adoption plan (that didn't happen), I expected to get a baby 1-2 months after our match fell through because our agency puts us at the top of the list (it's been 79 days) and I expected that 2015 was going to be the year I became a mom, but maybe it won't be. I feel like I'm finally letting go of my expectations, and it's a good thing. Although it may sounds like hopelessness, it's not. I'm hopeful, but without a date or expectations in mind, because when it doesn't happen it makes it harder. I have also learned that when I trust God to wait for my children, that means it's up to His timing. I can't follow his will and then throw tantrums when it doesn't follow my timeline. God has a plan for us, He loves us and will make us parents in accordance to His will. Although I hope this is relatively soon, ultimately it doesn't matter because I have no control over it anyways.
Many times throughout our adoption plan I have said (whether to God, my husband, or close family and friends) if we are still waiting in X amount of time, I'm not going to be able to handle it. I said that in August 2014 about still waiting until this past August. I said that about my brother having a baby before me, which he did in August. I have said that about Justin's sister who will become a mother before I do in the beginning of December. I have said it about being childless another Christmas this year. But the truth is that I am FINALLY learning. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who has kids before me. It doesn't matter how long I wait. I will still be here. I always knew I wouldn't be able to wait this long and I wouldn't be able to handle this. But the truth is, is that God is good. He is good in the good times and he is good when it's bad. It's HIS strength that has pulled me through many dark months of waiting. It was HIS strength that held my hand when I found out that I wasn't going to be a mom in August. It was HIS strength that allowed me to go back to work and still love helping women meet their children for the first time. It is HIS strength that lets me keep waiting and prevents me from having a complete mental breakdown. God is good, all the time. I can't wait until he blesses us with children. I have no idea and no more expectations of when that will be. I'm just going to focus on getting through today first.
We have been so blessed with many amazing people around us and again want to thank you all for the love and support. I hope it won't be long until we can share our joy of becoming parents with you all. But until then we will just wait and trust that God knows what he is doing.
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