Overwhelmed.... with love.

When we started throwing around the idea of fundraising, I was really unsure and unsettled about the idea. I was really scared to put myself out there, I was worried people would think it was unethical to raise money to help "purchase a baby", and I was just not sure about it. Now that we have put ourselves out there, I have to say that I really do feel uncomfortable with it all, but in a good way. Let me explain.

For another tidbit of background on me: I grew up with no friends. My friends were incredibly inconsistent and I was the child that everyone made fun of since forever. My sister on the other hand had awesome friends, was always surrounded by friends, some of which that she met in elementary school - and she still hangs out with them today. I was always jealous of that. Because of many things in my life, and my lack of popularity being one, I have always been very insecure with myself and it has been extremely hard for me to accept love from people. When Justin and I started dating, it took a very long time for me to be able to accept a compliment from him, I always put those comments down, and even today I still struggle with fully accepting the love that my husband wants to give me.

So when we decided to fundraise, I was all "I'll take people's money, no problem. If they're giving, I'll take it!" But in reality, it is an incredibly humbling experience. It's not easy to take people's money because of the love that accompanies it. Love that I wasn't even aware of.... that was completely unexpected.

Finances aside, this entire experience has really opened my eyes to the people that love and support Justin and I. I am so blown away from the love and vulnerability of others, and I feel so incredibly privileged to be able to know people in a much deeper way. This time in my life, has really opened up some amazing doors in relationships I have with others, and honestly I love it.

I just wanted you guys to know that we are feeling all of this, everyday. This love is so incredibly overwhelming and I just wanted to say thanks. The scary part is that we have only just begun on this long fundraising journey! We are now over $2000! but we have a long ways ahead of us... and I'm looking forward to being overwhelmed then too.

Thank you so much from the bottom of my broken heart - your love and support for us has cast out my fears of not being popular enough, or pretty enough, or cool enough, and has helped me accept that other people do love and accept me, so maybe it's about time I do that too.

Today I am incredibly overwhelmed with the love and generosity from the people around me and thanks doesn't even begin to share how grateful I am (and Justin too) for all your love, kind words, and money. You guys are pretty awesome, so thanks!