Hey everyone, sorry for the lack of updates on here, I will explain why there has been a lack of posts in this blog.
Every week Justin and I are constantly asked "So have you heard anything yet". To which I'm really wanting to tell people "Yes, here is my invisible child (insert name here)"(LOL). I totally get that people are wanting to know where we are at, but where we are at is honestly the most incredibly difficult thing right now.
We are the same. We are in the exact same spot we were in since January. We are waiting, anxiously. Nothing is changing. Everything is the same. That's the hardest part - that everything - the circumstances, our feelings - stay the same. We know we have no control over this, we know that our God is bigger than this and has all this in His control; His timing will be perfect, but right now it doesn't feel perfect. Right now it hurts. It's hard to stand still as the rest of the world moves at it's ridiculously fast pace around you.
I just want to ask a few things of you guys, because we have had some experiences lately that have made everything that much harder. Firstly: if we come to you asking for prayer please just pray for us. I have unfortunately experienced getting lectured and preached at, which has completely turned me off to asking for prayer. So please, just pray. We would appreciate keeping your "wisdom" to yourself. We have close friends and family who offer us truth and love, so please just pray and keep your thoughts to yourself.
Secondly, I don't mind people asking us how we are doing with the adoption and where we are at with it all, but the question of whether we have heard anything is getting old. I do want to reassure you guys that if and when (it could be another year down the road) we hear something, we will be so flipping excited that everyone on this planet will hear it too. So please, if you can refrain from asking, do. It makes feeling like we are standing absolutely still so much harder when everyone reminds you several times a day that you are standing still.
I never imagined that waiting would be this hard, but it is. Both Justin and I are really beginning to be worn down emotionally, and I know for me it's starting to creep into me physically as well. I haven't really been sleeping well, which is probably a combination of the adoption and working shift work. So please pray for that.
Justin has really been realizing how this is always going to be a struggle for us. That having a family will never come easily. It won't be an "oops, we're pregnant", although I so wish that could happen. We believe in miracles, but haven't felt at all that God will be granting us this one. So we are facing some battles within ourselves, looking at what seems to be an incredibly long road ahead of us. It's rather daunting, and extremely discouraging.
Please please please pray for us. Pray for strength in every day, every moment. Pray for the truth to resound in our hearts and minds. Pray for God to be vocal in our lives. Pray that babies come, and that they come soon. Pray for peace. Pray for rest.
We thank you all for the love and support that you show us. Please continue to pray for us as we struggle to stand still while the world runs laps around us.
