Hey everyone it has been such a long time since I posted, so I thought I would give a bit of an update. Justin and I just got home yesterday from our 3.5 week long trip to Australia. We were blessed to be able to go there to stand up in my brother's wedding. He married an amazing Aussie and they will be starting their marriage off in Canada. The day was so beautiful and I loved being able to be there! We had a great holiday and are just trying to readjust from all the jet lag (yay 16 hour time difference, NOT).
In the meantime our adoption still feels like it's going nowhere. We have been waiting since January and haven't heard anything yet. The most frustrating part for me is that I honestly expected to be chosen by now, and we haven't. It's hard to learn to have absolutely no expectations… but remain hopeful at the same time, which unfortunately isn't very easy.
As we enter different stages in our adoption process I am surprised by all the different emotions that have come up. Some have surprised me, some I kind of expected. Here are the things I have been experiencing lately.
As I have healed through the process of our infertility I have moved past being able to handle pregnant people, like I work on labour and birth so I obviously am able to be around people having babies. What I am finding really difficult is the people who were having babies when our process started that are now having more babies. I feel like they are so greedy, having all the babies, and I'm just waiting-still.
Another thing that both Justin and I are experiencing is just a bit of frustration. Our home study expires October 3rd, so we need to have an updated home study to the agency by then or we are put on hold. So we start our home study next week. I'm thinking that the home study shouldn't be as bad as the last one, but we were a bit stressed during our home study last time. Please keep us in our prayers, I again had the expectation that we wouldn't need to do a home study update.
The last and newest thing that I have been having troubles with is hearing people complaining about their kids or watching how angry people get with their kids. I know that being a parent will be stressful, and everyone has their moments, but I would love to have a sleepless night with my baby. I would love to have a child to discipline. It's so easy to take things for granted like your kids, especially when you don't know the pain of not being able to have them. So please, stop complaining about your kids via Facebook or by mouth and just be thankful that you have that little person to love, because you aren't getting any sympathy from me.
Please continue to pray for us as we start our home study update next week. Also pray for continued peace and patience as we trust in God's timing. Also pray that God's timing is soon! I am thankful that we were able to have another trip to ourselves, we are feeling refreshed, although rather jet lagged. Thank you so much for following our story, and hopefully soon we will have news to share with you all!
