How we got here.

So since I have started the blog, I know that many people have either made comments on, or had questions about how we came to the decision to adopt, and seeing as this decision has a TON of information behind it (hours and hours spent researching things for ourselves, talking with people we know who have experienced it, etc, etc), I decided to do an entire post on this topic. Here is the short version of our process.... it takes a long time to talk about all the information let alone write it out. But I want to reassure you guys (as many people have asked), that I have researched ALL our options... I'm a hyper researcher, so here's how it went.

When we initially began this whole process, I thought I was going to be all for IVF. This is because I know that I have always wanted to experience a pregnancy as well as the labour, delivery, bonding, etc, etc, to be able to do it 'almost' normally I guess. Once I started looking into IVF, there were many factors to think about....the first one being cost. IVF costs about approx $12,000 per cycle. Yes, this is in theory less than adoption, but IVF isn't a guaranteed thing. I have known of many, young, healthy people who have spent over $50,000 on IVF, not to become pregnant once. There is no reason for the lack of pregnancy, it just didn't happen. Another thing to consider with the cost is that our physician would send us to Calgary for treatment (I think their pregnancy rates are higher than Saskatoon) so I would have to be in Calgary for at least a month to go through the IVF treatment, have to find somewhere to stay during this time and not be working. It is possible that we could figure out a remote set up with the fertility specialist in Calgary, but we never got that far into looking into IVF, so it didn't matter. Secondly, IVF is incredibly invasive and a lot to go through for both Justin and I. For the woman, hormones injections are constant to make the body hyper ovulate so that they can harvest as many eggs as possible, the average is usually about 12.... I'm a ball of hormones on my own, let me tell you.... For Justin, with the condition he has he would actually need to have surgery for them to retrieve sperm cells and we have spoken to family members who have done exactly what we would have to do, and it's not a pleasant experience. Now imagine all that, and not becoming pregnant.... The truth is, I think that would be harder than getting the diagnosis of infertility. You know there is an embryo in there, you know you 'should' get pregnant, that would be so incredibly disappointing. The next big thing to consider with IVF is the fact that Justin's abnormality is congenital and do we want to potentially knowingly pass this same problem onto one of our children? That's a tough pill to swallow. And the last point to take into account is the amount of embryo's that they would create and store for us. If we decided we were finished having kids, what would happen to our embryo's? I believe conception is the beginning of life, so would I essentially be terminating these children's lives? We found we were more uneasy, and didn't feel at peace about the idea of IVF right now. I'm not saying that we won't travel the IVF route later in life, but as of right now we have really been turned off of the idea of IVF, and we may never try it, I have no idea.

We also brought up the thought of using a sperm donor, and again right now, we just didn't feel it was right for us.

We have, all in all just felt a huge calling to adoption. And honestly, that has played the main part in our decision. We are called to adopt. Many people have asked us why we have chosen to adopt from the USA rather than Canada or other more exotic countries. To begin with, we looked at domestic adoption. There are no private adoption agencies in Saskatchewan. There are other ones in pretty much every other province in Canada, just not here; all the adoptions go through the public system. So the average wait time for a newborn is 7-10 years in Saskatchewan, which is ridiculous. And as someone who has been wanting to have children for the past 3 years (decided to go to nursing school instead), I've waited long enough, I'm really impatient. So then we started exploring other countries and the fact is, anywhere else in the world you are getting a child that is at least 6-9 months old. In the future we might be open to adopting from somewhere else and getting an older child, but right now, for baby #1, we want to experience it right from the beginning. We want a newborn. In the USA, you can essentially go pick your baby up right from the hospital and that's what we are looking for. Now when choosing to adopt from the USA, you must choose one agency in one state to work with as different states have different laws and whatnot; we have chosen Florida. The agency we are working with adopts a lot of children to Canada and have a lot of experience specifically with Saskatchewan. Their experience and knowing how our system works was one of the biggest assets for us. Even with how early we are in the whole process, they have been so incredibly helpful. The immigration and citizenship process in incredibly complex, so to be working with an agency that is familiar with our laws and regulations will help us out significantly.

I know that so many people are always asking, well this person did this, and this person did that, why didn't you do that? You need to remember that each fertility case is different, each adoption case is different. The way I make decisions may significantly differ from you. But we know that this is the path we are to be on at this moment in time, and God has really been affirming that. In my first blog post, I wrote about how I dreamt about pregnancy and the moment I would get to meet my little one. As of right now, I have less of a desire to get pregnant than I did and honestly that amazes me. I am now dreaming about the day that I will get to travel to Florida (maybe it will be in winter, a much needed break from a Saskatchewan Winter), and get to meet my baby. I dream of the moment my family will get to meet the little one.... all the same things you would in a normal pregnancy, except my body will not need to go through pregnancy and birth. I kind of think it's awesome that I am running a half marathon in September and could very well get a baby that same month... I know my body will appreciate it! It is still hard to see everyone else in their pregnancies, but I know that moment when I will get to hold my baby for the first time, that all this hurt, waiting, money, crying, worrying.... it will all be worth it and I can't wait for that day! Each day we get closer to that day, and that comforts me enough for today, that's all that matters.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matthew 6:34