Update

Hey everybody! It's been a long time since I have posted and I will share a bit of why. Justin and I have been so open (as I find it easier to struggle openly rather than in silence by myself), and I have done my best to be careful of what I am saying so that it's a real portrayal of where we are at, but not just me complaining all the time either. I want to be real with people because I, in turn, want to have people be real with me. The reality is that we all have people out there that are just negative, who have opinions about anything if it allows people to hear them talk. And unfortunately I have been a bit discouraged as people that really have little to no interaction with me and have probably talked to me only a couple times ever - decide they are the appropriate person to tell me that I'm not doing this or I'm doing this wrong, or they just flat out minimize the things that I am experiencing by saying "at least you have a husband because I don't" etc etc. And although I am far from a people pleaser, I do have feelings and get frustrated when people feel the need to say words that benefit no one and do more harm than anything. So I have had to refocus myself and thank all the people who have actually walked this road with me, who haven't judged me when I messed up (because I do it all the time) and who are the true definition of unconditional love in my life. It's easier for people to judge and give their unwanted advice - so thanks to everyone who is just there and feeds me real truth when it's needed! This road is long, tiring and hard. Thanks to people who listen to me vent about the same things over and over - and especially for not minimizing what I am feeling because we struggle with different things. I am truly blessed with many great people in my life! Your words are the ones I should be hearing not the few negative ones.

I also wanted to give an update for those of you who would like to know the status of our adoption. Mother's Day was a tough weekend for me, as I can recall the last couple years on Mother's Day when I would say to myself "next year". And as we know, next year keeps coming and we are still in the same spot. But thankfully we got an update the day after Mother's Day that really lifted my spirits and encouraged me. We are moving up the list with great speed! We are now number 11 on the African American list and number 12 on the Caucasian/Hispanic list. What this means for those who don't know how it works is this. The people who are waiting the longest are closer to the top of the list. When a mom comes in, they see what criteria the mom wants in a family, then the agency finds families that have matching criteria in what they want in a birthmom and the agency starts pulling family profiles from the top of the list. So your profile is more likely to get shown more often when you've been waiting longer and that ups your chances of being picked! So our spot on the list (here we come top 10) is exciting but I was most encouraged that we were shown twice in the past four weeks! We are getting closer! Hoping this journey will end soon, but not necessarily relying on that, as we don't know what God has in store for us, but we know that He is good and that's all we need.

Thanks for continued love and support. Although I've been frustrated with people's ignorance, I get more good comments then the bad. I love getting the Facebook messages from people letting us know they are thinking of us and praying for us. Those messages mean so much more than you know. Thanks for being awesome and loving, we are truly blessed. Looking forward to the day that we can share the excitement of actually having babies with you all!